No Homo

Chapter 2

Troye

We come to the locker room from practice rowdily, all patting each others' backs and yelling about random things, and stop in front of our respective lockers or sitting down on benches to change shoes. I look at some of the other boys as they change but then realize one, they're gonna think I'm gay or something, and two, it's rude. I turn back around and finish changing out of my uniform. I close my locker and go to grab my backpack when I see another boy looking at me. He's still in his jersey, number 7, and I think his name is Connor. We haven't talked much but we're acquaintances. He stops looking at me and gives me a small smile, almost looking apologetic. I smile back and he turns around quickly, probably realizing that he should hurry up and change.

I get to my next class, which happens to be AP English right on time and sit in a seat by the window. The late bell rings and I start paying half attention, as this means that the class is about to actually start. Right as Mr. Burns, opens his mouth to start, Connor speed walks in, slightly winded. He mutters a small apology to Mr. Burns and looks at me. We make eye contact and I find myself hoping he sits by me. He comes over and drops his backpack on the floor by the chair beside me. I smile at him again as he sits down and his face reddens a little bit. I don't know why but I kind of like it when he blushes. He must be shy, I can't think of another reason he'd be like this. I examine him while the teacher drones on. He seems like he's thinking, but I really want to talk to him. He seems really nice and I haven't really made any real friends yet this year. 

"Hey," I write on the corner of my notebook page. I then tap him lightly on the arm and point at he word. He reads it and picks up his pencil.

"Hello!" he writes quickly in barely legible handwriting.

I told him he seemed cool and that we should talk more, and for the rest of the class we passed notes about football and how annoying Mr. Burns is. 

Finally the bell rings and we start putting our stuff away. I have a really weird feeling in my stomach for some reason. I feel a little bit nervous ad flighty. Connor is cool, as I suspected so I ask him for his number, hoping he doesn't think I'm weird. He stops for a second and I get really scared that he'll say no. He then writes his number on my notebook and most of the worry goes  away, although I still have a funny feeling in my stomach. I suggest walking to lunch together, but he says he has to go to the bathroom so I go to the cafeteria without him.

I sit down at the table next to a boy named Kian, leaving space beside me in hopes that Connor will sit by me. He comes in a minute later and we continue to talk about school and a little bit about our families and stuff. I notice Kian and a lot of the others giving us weird looks, and I wonder why. 

After lunch I have no interesting classes, nor any classes with Connor so I pretty much zone out for the rest of the day. I keep thinking about Connor. I'm trying to plan out what I'm gonna text him later, I feel like it has to be just right. I decide I'll just say hey and then we can talk about our families or something. I really want to get to know him. I wipe my hands on my jeans a few times, they get sweaty when I'm nervous. As I do this I wonder why I'm nervous. I've never felt like this about just a simple text or a new friend. It's kind of weird but oh well.

After the final bell rings and I'm walking in the direction of my house I see Connor and make eye contact. I wave and mime texting him and he smiles and waves back. Making him smile made me smile even more. I feel a sharp elbow on my arm and see Joey, one of the guys on the team looking at me weirdly. "Why do you look at him like that?" he says

"Like what?" I was not aware that I looked at him in any 'way.'

"I don't know, the way you look at him is just... gay, or something. I dunno." Joey says, looking disgusted.

"What? No! I'm not... I'm just not, okay?" I say defensively.

He raises an eyebrow and walks away. I shake my head and start walking to my house again. On the walk home, I can't get what he said out of my head. I've never thought of being gay as a bad thing, just a little different. Now I wonder what it even is to look at someone gay. I wonder if Connor thinks I was looking at him weird? The feeling is back in my stomach accept this time it doesn't feel excited and giddy, just scared. "No. I'm not gay." I whisper to myself as I turn the corner onto my street.

I slam the door closed, still repeating over and over again in my head 'I'm not gay. I'm not gay.' "I'm home!" I yell to my mother and I run upstairs. I take out my phone and make a new contact for Connor. I then text him a simple "hey" and wait for him to respond. I feel a little bit pathetic for just sitting here and waiting, but I really want to talk to him. I get on my laptop and check social media for a while until I feel my phone vibrate next to me. It's Connor, I sit up excitedly and read his reply. "Hey! Today was really fun, we should talk more." My ears redden, although I'm not quite sure why, and my face breaks into a grin. I'm about to say something back when my mom knocks on my door. "Come in," I say, and she walks in.

When she sees me she smiles and raises her eyebrows. "Are you talking to a girl? You're all red and smiley." She said , a suggestive note in her voice.

"Huh? It's a friend from football!" I say quickly, my stomach forming a knot again. She frowns and mutters an 'oh' and then tells me to get started on my homework. I tell her I was just about to do that and then when she leaves I go back to my phone. I reply to Connor with a "Yeah, we really should. Wyd?" and our conversation went until around seven, when my mom called up the stairs to alert me that dinner was ready. When I sit down at the table, I notice that the chair my father sits in for dinner is empty. 

"Work again?" I ask. He usually misses dinner for work. He leaves early in the morning and comes home pretty late.

"Yeah." My mom says, with another small frown. 

We eat in mostly silence and I then take my plate to the kitchen and set it on the shiny granite counter. After this I thank my mom and walk swiftly up the carpeted stairs. 

When I get back to my room, I resume texting Connor and getting to know him better. Our conversation continues until 1 AM. I found out that he also enjoys social media, specifically tumblr and instagram, which surprised me. He seems way different from the other boys in our group and on the team, and I wonder how he hangs out with them. The knot in my stomach from what my mom said to me seems to have disappeared by now. Connor is a good distraction from things like that. 

After we decide to say goodnight and I close my computer, a rare thing for me to do at only 1, I lay on my back and look at the popcorn textured ceiling, still smiling from my conversation with Connor. After a few minutes though, I feel the knot again. I don't know why this whole 'gay' thing is bothering me so much. I mean, obviously I'm not gay, especially for Connor. Ew. But then why is it scaring me? I roll over and try to go to sleep, tired of worrying about this. Of course I'm not gay, I've had tons of girlfriends. I didn't necessarily feel much of anything for any of them, but I will at some point, I'm young, I just haven't found the right girl. With that, I fall asleep. 

AU

Hello friends! Things are gonna get Tronnery soon, I just want the story to have a realistic pace. That's all!

BYE