Bedtime Stories For Children

At Red Rock

Da red spool held up in tha thugs' handz twirled rapidly as tha kite tugged.

"Let tha line up slowly," daddy holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Yo ass don't wanna use all dat shiznit at once."

"But dad," Colin answered, "I want it ta go higher n' faster." His grill was sunburned as tha sandy Red Rock on which they was standing.

Two sparrows shared a funky-ass branch above tha pebbly ocean shore. "Up, up n' peace out," they chirped.

"Careful Colin, don't slip on tha moss," holla'd Mom. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch stepped carefully across tha big-ass rock, almost tha size of they hoopty garage.

"Mom, I be bein careful naaahhmean, biatch? LOOK! It must be a mile high."

"Not straight-up, son," holla'd momma. "Yo ass only have five hundred feet of string."

"It's straight-up neat havin our crew picnic on top of Red Rock," Colin holla'd.

Dat shiznit was such a pleasant place on dis finger of land pokin tha fuck into Cobequid Bizzle, Nova Scotia. Da dizzle was sunny n' cloudz white as ocean whitecaps danced against tha shore.

Colin's waxed strang held tightly ta tha climbin kite fo' realz. A aiiight grill on its plastic shape jiggled around, up n' down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. At times it teased tha boy, plungin downwards.

Colin pushed tha spool forward, then pulled it back ta his chest. This quick movement, made tha kite climb wit freshly smoked up juice.

"We must leave soon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Before tha tide comes in," Dad holla'd.

Colin wasn't listening; eyes was fixed on tha kite's shimmer of red n' white fo' realz. Also busily munchin on his cold-ass turkey n' mayo sandwich.

"We can finish our picnic on tha shore," suggested Mom.

Bitch was first ta step down from tha sandstone rock. Colin's daddy also crossed tha sandy beach n' up wooden steps onto higher land.

They didn't notice Colin had not followed.

From they scenic view, tha open wata stretched ta Maitland, fifteen milez on tha other side of Cobequid Bizzle. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sea gulls flew up in twists n' turns.

ERK! ERK! Calls was mo' like warnin cries from they long beaks.

So what tha fuck if tha tide came in, biatch? Colin thought. "Then I'll gotta spend all night here on dis rock," his schmoooove ass chuckled.

Before long he realized his freshly smoked up problem was big-ass as Red Rock itself. Well shiiiit, it would take a while ta retrieve his fuckin line, n' fuckin started windin furiously. Well shiiiit, it seemed as if it touched dem Cirrus clouds.

Oh-mi-gosh dat shiznit was gettin dark. Was dat tha moon behind his kite?

Now he realized Momma n' daddy was gone yo. Dude couldn't hear they voices callin from shore.

Tidewata fuckin started lappin all up in tha base of Red Rock. But Colin was still determined ta reel up in his kite. Well shiiiit, it had been a funky-ass birthdizzle gift from uncle Lawrence.

"Mom! Dad!" his schmoooove ass called, seein dem wave from shore. They couldn't hear his ass either n' shit. Only shadows up in tha forest heard they frantic calls. Da kite soared n' dipped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! And circled n' climbed reluctant ta leave its freedom up in tha sky.

Trees rustled from tha approachin wind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Stars came out. Colin held firmly onto his kite string, arms too chillaxed ta wind any further.

Tidewata rose higher.

Da Milky Way seemed so close. Planes flew by. Colin heard wata sloshin up in tha darkness. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some wata even splashed against his sneakers.

Tired hairy-ass legs hoped tha pimp would sit tha fuck down n' rest. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat Colin waited fo' some kind of miracle fo' realz. And, IT DID!

A supa gust of wind blew up in from tha ocean.

With a mighty "WHOOSH!" his kite lifted high, draggin his ass along. Thankfully Colin didn't smoke his wild lil' fuckin extra sandwich yo. Dude might done been too heavy.

Da bangin wind blew tha kite draggin Colin towardz tha shore yo. Dude held firmly onto his bangin red spool.

Stars blinked all up in tha scene before dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Several planes flew high above.

Before long, Colin was directly overhead his thugged-out lil' muthafathas.

Dad's phat arms reached up grabbed Colin's hairy-ass legs n' pulled his ass down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Momma wrapped warm arms round her lil man.

In all tha excitement, Colin forgot bout his kite dat carried his ass here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. In fact, da perved-out muthafucka still held tightly ta tha spool of string.

High above, tha plastic kite wit its smilin grill continued ta make circles.

Suddenly there was a snap. Colin was not pissed tha fuck off as he peeped a trail of strang follow his kite yo. Dude was also aiiight ta be back on land wit his thugged-out lil' muthafathas.

Besides, his kite was free ta travel anywhere it wished.

Now when you look up at night, you'll notice all dem clouds, stars n' planes, like all dem seagulls. if you're dirty, you may even peep a eagle.

But if you look closely; you may peep suttin' like different. It's Colin's red n' white kite.

And its smilin yellow grill is lookin fo' another playa.