I sit on my bed
Trying to get away from my obnoxious nightmares
That always come flashing back
In my zone outs
Loving one person so deeply
&having my heart ripped out
Feeling like I was just fed to a pack of wolves
Feeling like no one cared
Being betrayed by the person I loved
Darkest secrets arose
Everyone knew of my past
&everyone laughed.
Even the drugs couldn't make me forget
No matter how many and how much
I couldn't forget this betrayal
Not this time
I sit on my bed
Blades in my fist
Blood on my sheets
I couldn't get away from my obnoxious nightmares
Because they were my reality
A handful of sleeping pills in my left hand
Blades in my right
My heart on a sleeve
&nobody was even going to care
If I died tonight.
-Molli Reid (2013)