Dark Horse

Romeo and Juliet

Don't you ever have the sudden realization that one day, you're going to dies and there's nothing you can do about it? Hopefully, you'll be old. Your bed will be warm. Your grandchildren will gather around you. Maybe your husband will be gone already, maybe he'll be beside you, holding your hand and singing to you. Your children will be there too. Maybe one will be missing. Occupied by work or all the other million things and hasn't realized their mother is dying.  You're dying. A few minutes now and you'll be gone. You're going now. You see your parents and grandparents. It's wonderful there. You're happy. You realize you're happier there than you ever were on earth. Then you're gone.

     Ten more minutes.
"Do you guys have anything?!"
Mason, Alex, and I look at each other cluelessly.
"I have a new high score on Agar.i.o," Alex offers helpfully.
Courtney scowls at him, probably wishing she wasn't stuck with three airheads for a project that was 50% of your grade.
"Anything else?"
The three of us stare at each other blankly.
"How's the work going, guys?"
Mr. Malinco leans causally over to take a peek at a Alex's iPad. He quickly tries to switch it to something that would be somewhat acceptable to be on for a social studies class. Mr. Malinco sees anyway.
"Ah, Agar.i.o," Mr. Malinco sighs deeply, "I'm sorry Mr. Carter. Ten points for today."
Alex rolls his eyes. Like he cares. Courtney smiles at him pointedly. I told you so, it says.
"I'm sorry I don't like learning about a river!" Alex says exasperatedly.
"Well you should at least try!" Courtney shouts. "I'm the only one on this team who actually cares about their grade! You guys just sit th-"
"Did you know that the word
bakku-shan means a women who's pretty from the back, but not from the front?" Mason says out of the blue.
"What does that have to do with anything?" Courtney demands.
"Nothing," Mason admits, "but it's better than listening to you guys argue."
He's right.
"Did you know mosquitoes can smell carbon dioxide in your breath from 100 feet away?" I add helpfully.
Courtney rolls her eyes.
"The first version of Minecraft was made in six days," Alex adds.
"The original title for Romeo and Juliet was The Most Excellent and Lamentable Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet," Mason says, looking at me. I raise my eyebrows at him, trying to say, Why you looking at me?
"Did you know Romeo and Juliet both killed for true love?" I look at Mason.
"I'd say it's the best way to die, if you ask me."
Courtney snorts. "Yes, committing suicide is definitely the way to go." She freezes as she realizes she said it in front of me.
I shrug.
"Well, I'd rather die for love than vanity."
"Truer words have never spoken," Mason says.

My brother's room looks the same as it did three years ago. Books, vinyls he liked to collect, and an embarrassing amount of Star Wars dolls. "Action figures". Whatever. By dictionary definition a doll is "a small model of a human figure". Boys are so picky about that kind of stuff. Especially my brother. I miss Ben sometimes. A lot, actually. I think my mom thinks she a failure because of her kids. Actually, I know she thinks that. The only thing worse than being a person who's a failure is being a mother of two failures. If Ben wouldn't have messed up first, maybe I wouldn't have messed up. Maybe my mom would go out more and not have as many lines. Maybe my dad would actually listen to something other than Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber sometimes and listen to bands Ben used to like, like Nirvana. Why do big brothers always mess up everything?