Genre: Angst (I write so much angst oh my god someone help me)
"You've been quite distant lately" The words almost caught in Jungkook's throat but somehow he was able to push them out.
"Oh, have I?" Jimin replied, absently. He was obviously too distracted by more important things to have this conversation right now but still Jungkook powered on, scared of the outcome but knowing it was necessary.
"Yeah, even now, you don't seem all...here, you know?" Jimin rolled over on the bed, facing away from Jungkook.
"I'm just tired"
"Do you...Do you still love me?" Jungkook whispered, uncertain in his question and even more uncertain of what the answer would be. There was a silence that filled the room, louder than any words spoken. The quiet remained for the rest of the sleepless night, the unanswered question left hanging heavy in the evening air.
Breakfast the next day was French toast with a side of uncomfortable awkwardness. Jimin avoided Jungkook's eyes and didn't speak aside from 'thank you's or murmurs in response to something Jungkook said.
They were halfway through their silent eating when Jungkook wished for things he had never wished for before. He wished that he hadn't moved in with Jimin, he wished he had never fallen in love with Jimin, he wished he had never even met Jimin. The emotions that came with the wishes was overwhelming, Jungkook had never felt that way before. He had never felt so regretful about anything involving Jimin.
"Jimin, please" Jungkook was whispering, as he always did when he was unsure or scared. "Just talk to me, I can't stand this".
An undistinguishable glint appeared in Jimin's eye, for just a moment before he broke eye contact. Without a word, Jimin put down his cutlery and left the room, leaving Jungkook as the tears that had been threatening to fall made their way down his pale cheeks.
Jungkook was still young but he had been in quite a few relationships before, all of which had ended badly, very badly, in fact; the last being the worst of them all. It had broken him beyond belief and Jungkook swore that he would never again let himself go through that pain. From that moment on, he was dead set against relationships; actually he was dead set against any form of social interaction. He created a brick wall around his heart and he continually built it up stronger day by day.
So when Jimin came along, Jungkook had wanted nothing to do with him. He was content with retreating further back inside his little shell, safe from harm and tears. Jimin, however, wasn't allowing Jungkook to continue living that way and pushed and pushed until the wall fell down with a dusty crash. Jungkook wasn't sure if he had thanked Jimin enough for pulling him out of hiding and letting him experience true love for the first time in his life.
If he had told himself back then that Jimin was going to fall head over heels for him, that they would move it together and that Jungkook, himself, would be so madly in love that he had an engagement ring hiding in their little house awaiting the perfect moment, he would never have believed it.
Jungkook wasn't sure when it had all started to go downhill, but looking back he could see it had been a while. It started with Jimin going out more. He would be out all day and sometimes long into the night without informing Jungkook on how long he would be out or where he was going. This led onto Jimin talking to Jungkook less and less, about anything and everything. Not even small insignificant things were spoken about. There were still a few small moments when they'd have a real conversation but those times were slowly becoming nonexistent.
And then Jimin started to sleep on the couch. At first he made excuses such as, he fell asleep watching the television or he had come home late and was too tired to drag himself to bed. Now, it was happening almost every night and he wouldn't even mention it.
The most recent event, and the most heartbreaking of all, was that Jimin had stopped saying 'I love you'. At the beginning of their relationship, Jimin was very big on affection and letting his loved ones know that they were loved. He used to say 'I love you' when he left the room, when he hung up the phone, sometimes even when they'd just been sitting in silence and he had felt the need to say it.
It was one of Jungkook's favourite things about Jimin, one of the things that made him feel so loved. Jungkook's past boyfriends had never been big on saying the L word so he wasn't used to how freely Jimin used it but he had soon grown to adore hearing the words fall so naturally from Jimin's soft lips.
Jungkook wondered what the turning point for Jimin was. What had happened to change his usual loving behaviour? He couldn't think of a single thing, everything had been going so well. Or at least, that's what Jungkook had thought; obviously it was far from the truth for Jimin.
"Jimin, what does happiness feel like?" It was a rare evening where Jimin had decided to stay in their bed. Jungkook hoped it was a good sign.
"It feels like freedom" Jimin replied easily, looking up at the roof wistfully.
"Are you happy?" Jungkook held his breath as he waited for the answer.
"Am I free?" He posed the question as if to say 'does it honestly look like I'm free?' and he obviously wasn't expecting Jungkook to reply, the answer was pretty clear.
More tears fell.
Jimin wasn't in the bed when Jungkook woke up, stretching his arms over to snuggle into Jimin's warm body but instead finding cold and empty sheets. This was getting to be a regular thing, as if Jimin couldn't bare being with Jungkook under the blankets for too long and had to get away as soon as he could.
It hurt Jungkook's heart so much; it felt it was being ripped out of his chest.
Jungkook got out of bed and wandered around the house, calling out Jimin's name, but he was nowhere to be found. In a panic, Jungkook checked the closet, only to find that all of Jimin's clothes were missing.
Trepidation struck Jungkook hard and he had to sit down before he collapsed. Jimin was gone. He hadn't even left a note or anything so Jungkook had no idea if he was ever going to come back. But Jungkook knew he wouldn't, he knew Jimin was gone for good.
And it hurt. It hurt so God damn much. Jungkook could hardly breath; the pain was so unbearable. Was this how Jimin was going to end it? Without even a single word? Without any explanation? Had Jungkook been that bad of a boyfriend?
Tears flowed heavily without a moment's hesitation. This was it. This was the end of Jimin and Jungkook. The end of the love they shared and the memories that will now haunt Jungkook forever.
Was Jimin happy now that he was free from the relationship he had found to be so burdensome?
