Anger

Chapter Three

The rain fell on the leaves like a heartbeat. Bum-bum. Bum-bum. Over and over it fell, echoing like thunder throughout the porch. The wind blew the trees, creating a crescendo of raindrops over the leaves. The sky was still blue and the sun was shining. It was a perfect day for everyone, except me.
Nicholas was getting worried about me. He had checked on me a few times in the past hour that I had been outside. I could hear his footsteps again.
I was sitting in the porch swing, legs crossed with a blanket around my shoulders. My hair was in a frizzy, curly pony tail and I hadn't changed out of my pajamas. Nick came outside, the screen door creaking and slamming behind him as he sat next to me.
"Henry's asleep." He said.
"Good." I muttered, still watching the trees and the rain.
"He asked for you."
"I'm sorry." My mind was a million places at once, and I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying. I was absent mindedly listening to the nature around me and not really listening to my brother.
"Hey. Juniper. You're scaring Henry. Please, talk to me."
Now I was out of my dream state and I was listening to Nick.
"About what? I'm fine."
"Really? You've been having nightmares ever since you got back in town, and you haven't left past this porch in a week. Please talk."
I thought. I thought about what I should say and what I actually wanted to say. I could always talk to my brother about anything nut now it was different. We were no longer close. I had no idea who he was anymore and he didn't know me.
"I don't want to see him. I keep having these dreams and I know I'll run into Isaac eventually. If I don't leave the house I won't have to worry about seeing Isaac or him seeing Henry."
"So you're just never going to leave? You think that's good parenting?"
I stayed silent. I wanted to protect Henry but maybe I was being a bit extreme. I was trying to help him in unhealthy ways.
"You're right." I said,shamefully looking at the boards in the floor.
"I got you your old job back. I figured it would help you get past everything that happened."
My old job? The bookstore that I loved dearly and was the only thing in my life I treasured? I was happy, and excited.
"How did you do that?" I asked him, full of surprise.
"I never left. I know the right people and tonight we are celebrating. Henry will be with Franki and you and I are going out. I need it, God knows you need it, being a parent for six years without a night out."
"Hey I went out!"
"And you brought Henry with you didn't you?"
He was right. It had been six years and I hadn't had one night off. I spent every day with Henry and only Henry.
Nick gave me his look when he was right and I rolled my eyes.
"I still went out, asshole."
He pushed me playfully and stood up, heading inside.

I had never had a night away from Henry. I was beginning to get nervous. What if something happened and I weren't there? Nicholas reassured me I was just overreacting but I was just too protective. Henry was with Franki and I was nervous about going out after Nick told me we were seeing our old high school friends. I had two friends in particular that I was nervous about seeing. I hadn't said goodbye or seen them since I left. They must have been pissed.
In the car, Nick and I were silent. He asked me if I was nervous and reassured me that no one hated me for leaving. He simply told them I needed to get my life together and they understood and it made me feel happier. We went to a little bar in the town circle. It was small with not a lot of people, so I didn't have to worry about a crowd.
When we walked inside, our 4 old friends were sitting at a small circular table talking and laughing. My old best friend Rian saw me and nearly dropped her drink.
"Juni!" She ran over to me and pulled me into a squeeze, rocking me back and forth. I didn't expect this acceptance this quick. I was surprised but so happy that I still had my best friend Rian.
"Holy shit! It's been too damn long Rian. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye." Besides Nick, Rian was the only person that knew about Henry and what Isaac did.
"Hey I understand alright?" She whispered. "Let's just have some fun!" She yelled throwing her hands in the air and making everyone else in the bar cheer.
As the night went on we talked and laughed and drank. I told them nothing of Henry and none of them asked. As we took shots and drank pitcher after pitcher, I knew I was done drinking. It had only been two hours but I rarely ever drank. I would regret it in the morning but damn I felt good. I decided it was time for me to go home and sleep.
"I'll be there in a second." Nick was driving me but first he was busy talking to Hope, a girl he'd liked ever since middle school. I walked to the door of the bar before running into someone and almost falling.
"Oh, shit I'm s--." I looked up and saw Isaac, taking a defensive step back. Shit. This was not the time or place to see him again. I smiled awkwardly and quickly turned away to go back over to my brother's table. I felt a hand on my arm, spinning me around.
"You look so familiar... Juniper?" Just hearing his voice disgusted me.
Isaac was a head taller than me, with broad shoulders and a firm jaw. He used to be the football player that was popular and handsome and had blonde curls and beautiful grey-blue eyes,but now he was just a secret with hateful eyes and a smile that could fool anyone.
"Hi Isaac." I whispered. "I'm leaving." I looked from him to the other two men he was with. I tried to pass them but Isaac pulled me back in front of him. I looked at my brothers table but he was still talking to Hope and laughing. Please Nick look over here, please I thought to myself. Isaac nodded at his friends and they walked to the bar leaving the two of us.
"It's been so long since I've seen you, junie." He gave me a disgusting smile and stroked my hand. I wanted to puke.
"Please, Isaac. I need to go."
"Your brother isn't ready to go. He forgot all about you." He nodded his head at Nicholas' table.
I looked and sure enough Hope and my brother were busy sharing saliva. Fuck, I told myself. Get out.
"He said he'd meet me. He'll be done soon." Isaac leaned in close to my face, one hand against the wall making me back up into the wall. He had cornered me and I wasn't even noticing.
"I don't think so sweetheart. Didn't you miss me?" I wanted to puke and cry. Six years and I was back where I left. Isaac grabbed my hand and pulled me around the corner, pinning me against the wall.
"Did you tell anyone?" He whispered. In fear, I simply shook my head.
"Did Nick tell anyone?" I shook my head again.
Isaac leaned close, but I turned my head. I closed my fists tight as he pressed his lips to my cheek and then my jaw.
"I'll see you soon. This is my town now." He winked and pulled away quickly as Nick came around the corner. Nick looked at me trembling with tears down my cheeks and then he looked at Isaac. His jaw clenched.
"What are you doing, Isaac?" Nick asked, balling his hands. Isaac noticed and put his hands up.
"I was just saying hello. It's been a while." He gave a nervous smile and passed Nick, hitting his shoulder. He turned and winked at my before walking back to the bar.

Nick stayed silent until we got to the car. He asked me what happened and I started crying. I couldn't stop. All I could think was, what if Henry took after his father? What if Henry was a terrible man? I couldn't tell Nick what happened or he would beat Isaac again. I cleaned myself up and shook my head.
"Nothing. It was just seeing him again made me freak out, I'm fine."
"You think I'm stupid? I came around the corner as he was pulling away from you. I won't let this shit happen again, I won't."
"You won't let it?" Now I understood. I understood why Nick became strange and distant before I left. He blamed himself. All these years of me blaming myself and Nick blamed himself.
"Nick please do not blame yourself. It was my fault. I shouldn't have split up from the group...twice now."
"I'm your older brother. I should have been there." He whispered.
"Nothing happened Nick. I promise. And it's not your fault." He nodded and we headed home, Henry and his father on my mind.