TMR Imagines/Preferences

Hurting // 9

WOOP WOOP! 20 reads! ;) Thank you guys so so sooooo much! I wasn't expecting any. But you guys prove me wrong! enjoy this imagine :3 (Also please do NOT hurt yourself! This is not meant to make hurting yourself seem like the right choice. If you do have thoughts like that then please tell someone that can possibly help.)

Newt/Minho Imagine

~

You were sitting on some grass minding your own business when a group of builders, including Gally, walk past and glare at you. Then continue talking like nothing happened. Why do they always do that? "Because it's shucking Gally." You mutter.

You walk back to the homestead and sit in your room and you get out your knife. You have cut hearts into your left forearm. One for Chuck, Thomas, Minho, Newt, Gally and Alby. You put a vertical line on a heart, that's theirs, if they do or say something that hurts you. And a horizontal line if they get hurt.

You put a vertical cross on Gally's heart and you cry out in pain. Newt runs in and sees what you're doing. "Y/N?! What are you doing?!" He yells. You drop the knife and grab your arm where the cut is. "Nothing. Get out Newt." You say tears falling onto your hand. You shut your eyes and start to cry. 

"You're so much stronger than me Newt." He lifts up your hand and sees all the scars. "Y/N?..." He says quietly. He covers his mouth with his hand. "Why do you do this?" He looks into your eyes. "It helps with all the name calling and the pain." "What pain?..." Sadness hanging on his every word.

You lift up your hand to reveal all the scars. "This one is yours." You point to one that has a vertical and horizontal line. "Why is mine crossed out?" He asks sitting next to you on the bed. "A vertical line means that they hurt me. But a horizontal means they got hurt." He stares at your arm and doesn't say anything.

"Chuck is so innocent..." You say through clenched teeth holding back sobs. "But it's okay. I'm the younger, and only, sister in the glade so it's everyone's job to make fun of me and say I'm useless." Newt pulls you into a hug. "I'm so sorry... I'll tell the-" I cut him off.

"I shouldn't have told you!" You begin crying again. He rubs your back and holds you until your sobs lower to little hiccups. "The g-gladers are like f-family to me. If t-they knew then it w-would hurt them." You stutter. "Please Y/N... Don't do this." He looks into your sad eyes.

You force a smile then it fades and you lay down on the bed.

~The Next Day (Before the doors close)~

You're waiting outside the doors and no one notices that you're there. The doors start closing and you step in. Gladers look at the door and run over to it screaming your name. You see Newt collapse to the ground and you force a smile. "It's for the best Newt!" You scream before the doors shut.

"It's for the best." You repeat to yourself over and over. "Maybe I'll actually believe it." There's a loud shrieking sound. Griever. You think to yourself. You run around and manage to stay away from all the grievers until morning.

You poke your head around a wall and you see Newt sitting there crying with Minho comforting him. Minho looks over and you pull your head back. Crap he saw. You climb the vines and you don't look down. Just keep going.

"Y/N?! Get down from there!" Minho yells making you climb faster. You climb until your arms are sore and then you prepare to jump. "Tell everyone I love them and goodbye!" You say letting go of the vines and start falling until someone grabs your arm and stops you.

"There won't BE a good bye to tell them!" He yells struggling to hold on. You sigh and look up at him. "Let go of me Minho. It's not like they'll care if I'm gone." I look back down at the ground. "That's not true!" He yells. "We all love you Y/N! We just tease you because we try to be stronger than you!"

"You're lying." You say tears forming in your eyes. "They hate me. Say I'm useless. Even you said I'd never get a job." "That's only when you're around! When you're not around we all tell ourselves that we're useless!" He says tears rolling down his cheeks.

You latch onto the vines but he doesn't let go of you. "We love you Y/N. You are so much stronger than us. Please come back with me." He pleads. You sigh and nod. You both climb down the vines and Minho embraces you in a hug. "Don't do that to us. Ever..." You hug him back.

"I'm sorry." Is all you say before he picks you up and you fall asleep on his chest.

~Newt's POV~

Minho comes back with Y/N in his arms but she looks dead. Apart from the fact that she's breathing. I run up to them and she's asleep. "Thank god..." I say before we take her to the med-jacks to get checked for any injuries.

"She has some scars on her left forearm but nothing serious." Jeff says smiling at us. I look back at Y/N who's still asleep. "Why didn't she say anything?" I say looking to Minho who's looking at the floor. "She said that we were stronger than her... She's always been stronger. When she came out of that shuck box, we all klunked ourselves. But Y/N. She was strong and asked few questions."

"That's not true." Y/N says making us look over at her. "I was terrified. I just didn't want to be seen as weak." She smiles and holds my hand. "I look up to you both. You are so... Strong. So figured out. I just felt out of place." She looks at her left forearm. "It didn't help a lot, but it kept me sane... I should have told someone... I know that now."

We wrap her in a hug and we are present with silence. The good silence. Not awkward. Just peaceful.

~

I hope you liked it :D

Again I do not like the idea of hurting yourself or suicide! If you are having those kinds of thoughts please tell someone and they can help! 

Ilysm! <3 Bai!