Up With The Birds

Chapter 11

So this is what it feels like to be in love. Everyday is bliss, and there's beauty in the most ridiculous things that I didn't even think to notice before. The symmetry in the school sidewalk is enough to make me smile now. It really is utterly ridiculous! 

Chris and I never truly make it official that we're a couple, but everyone knows. And I think they knew it was going to happen. Especially by the way that Jonny spoke to me the other day. I don't know how I was ignorant enough to miss obvious signs. Either way, we're together now, and it's wonderful.

However, the happiness disappears when I wake up into a living nightmare at four am.

My window shakes and the lock jangles as it's shoved upwards. I hear a pinging noise as the window fractures and the glass crumbles down. 

A dark figure clambers through my window. They hover at the foot of my bed, staring at me with clouded blue eyes. Another figure swings in more gracefully than the first. Judging by the way their body curves, I can tell that they're a girl. And the other one is a man. 

The man seems to look torn. His eyes shift constantly, not sure where to look. But he doesn't make any eye contact with me. It's like I'm not there. 

Then the girl marches towards me with swagger in her step. A strong hand grips my wrist and I struggle against her grasp. She grits her teeth and pushes me down more forcefully, her nails cutting into my skin. I gasp in pain. 

It brings the man into the clash. He snatches the girl's hands away and stares her down scornfully. I grab the nearest thing, which happens to be my alarm clock, and grip it threateningly. Next time she comes for me, she won't get off quite as easily. 

But they aren't even paying attention to me now - they're only paying attention to one another. The girl is staring at her accomplice with icy daggers in her eyes. She punches him in her rage, and he shoves her back to the window. Then they're gone. They just leave. 

Shock sends chills through my body. These couldn't be the cold counterparts of Dakota Rider. He was brutal. There's no way his partners would leave me here unharmed. 

I reassure myself that they were just petty thieves. Of course. We live in a popular part of the town. They must've seen our nice property and thought that we would be an easy drive by. 

Deep down, I doubt it. But it sounds nice on the surface. 

_____________________

Summer break starts for Cambridge a few days after the attempted robbery. I haven't told anyone about it - there's no need to make a big deal out of nothing. Chris and the guys take me out to celebrate at what's become our usual cafe. 

Poor Chris has an icepack held up to his shiny black eye. He tripped over one of those parking curbs downtown and hit his face on an awkwardly placed signpost. His eye is swollen shut, so he's half blind. Only one of his shimmering blue eyes are visible.

"Sounds like you were blind before you got that shiner, mate," Guy torments him playfully. "I don't know how you tripped over a parking curb."

"You're right, Guy. He's definitely blind as a bat," Will joins in. 

Chris laughs, but it's half-hearted. The whole time he seems to be looking down, and he only toys with his food. Chris is being solemn today. 

After we finish, Chris takes me out to a poppy-field that's isolated from most of town. We have to crawl under a barbed wire fence, but it's worth it.

Blossoms the hue of the sun sway in a gentle wind. A sickly sweet scent wafts over me, making me drowsy. The evening sky is lit up in shades of yellow and pink and orange. He grabs my hand and pulls me over to a huge oak tree with trailing branches. 

We lay on the ground together, our hearts beating as one. Chests rising and falling together. Neither of us says a word. My eyes flicker, and I drift off in to sleep.

I wake up and Chris is playing with my hair.

"You're awfully quiet today," I murmur.

"Words are very unnecessary," Chris says grimly.

I scoot over to him, resting my head on his shoulder. 

"What's on your mind?" I ask gently. He still says nothing. I nudge his shoulder. Chris still doesn't reply.

Why won't he tell me? 

"Chris, please," I beg. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"People never change, do they, Lana?"  He looks down as if he's in shame. "Here I am, meeting you, madly loving you, thinking that maybe - somehow - all of the pieces will just fall into place. But they aren't. They wont." 

I look at him gingerly.

"Chris, we're fine, really. Anything you've done, just tell me, just tell me everything. You've been hiding something in the back of your mind and I want to help you cope with it."

He laughs at me. As if I'm an idiot.

"No, you really don't want to know Lana. I'm not who you think I am. You barely know me, the real me."

All of this is so sudden. He's dropping a bombshell of emotion on me. We were so tranquil earlier. 

"Just talk to me," I whimper. "Don't cut me out."

He looks away. A tear grows in my eye. I hold a small pill of resentment in my palm. I hope I don't have to keep it.

"Do you love me?" I breathe. Chris goes stiff. "Do you love me?" I repeat. 

He turns to me, eyes red and face streaked. 

"Lana - " I cut him off.

"Chris, do I mean anything to you? Because you mean a lot to me. Ever since I've met you, a new sort of joy has been aroused in my life. So if you love me, wont you just let me know?"

"I do," he whispers. "But I shouldn't. I've told you, somehow you're going to get hurt. And I can't live with that, Lana. I don't want to cause you pain."

I shake my head. "No. No matter how bad we hurt each other, we can overcome it. Chris, look at the stars above us. They're shining for us. As long as the sky is full of glimmering stars, we'll know that we'll have each other for life."

He smiles weakly. "Alright," he agrees. "Can we promise to just be happy together from now one though? These emotional talks are killing me, Lana. I just want us to be joyful."

I cast away the thoughts of the bitter pill I imagined.

"I would love nothing more."