When You're Blue

Letter 1

I'm Nicole. I'm now fifteen but then I was fourteen my life changed. Back then the library used to be my home turf. I would sit and read until I felt like going home. Then I would walk down 63rd street cross Merl-hay and keep going straight, then I would take a left and walk three blocks toward the mall. Then I would take a left and pass the yellow house, the green house and then come to my grey house. That day I unlocked the back door and was bombarded with Sasha and Charlotte kissing my face. They are my dogs. I hung my coat and walked down the hall the first door on the left was the office to my right was the bathroom. I kept walking to the last door on the left I opened and turned on the light. Setting down my things by my desk I began to do my homework. After writing some of my essay and completing my math homework I climbed up onto my loft bed and started working on some fanfiction. Not much of a book but I had started chatting with this girl who really got me. Her name was Emily. She and I both felt like no one else at our school got us. We had been chatting for a solid twenty minutes before my best friend called. Her name was Lee. She asked me if I would like to hang out. I politely declined, I wasn't feeling good. That night I made myself dinner and went to bed. 

The next day at school, my three closest friends came up to me and we all started talking. Before we knew it we were running late for english. During english Francesca, one of my friends shared her essay. The paper was supposed to be a short story. But while I was listening to the story I realized that the story was basically the plot of my favorite Dr. Who episode. I had tried to introduce the show to Lee earlier but she got to scared of the angels. I had found my Whovian friend! I was so happy. At lunch we spent the entire time talking about the Doctor and making references. At recess we talked about what kind of music we liked and we discovered that we both liked My Chemical Romance(MCR). The next few days we were inseparable. Marlene, Francesca's close friend and Lee started noticing. They would try to engage us in conversation but all we wanted to do was talk about our fandoms. I mean what else would we even talk about?

Shortly after that, Lee and I began to fight more often. Marlene and I drifted farther apart. Marlene even started to hate me. Lee stayed true to her credit, but eventually she to started to drift away. That summer Francesca and I could't see each other as much because I had gotten my phone taken away and Francesca had gotten an online boyfriend via Skype. After summer vacation, it was time for High School and Francesca and I drifted apart. I started having depression and anxiety and had to start going to therapy.

So here I am today. I am about to see the only one of my friends who would agree to meet me. I'm so nervous. Then I see her, Lee is walking in my general direction eating a pretzel from the near by shop. She sees me and her pace quickens. By the time she gets to me she is running. And then it happens. She strangles me in a hug. She starts to say something and I shush her. "Shhhhh, I need to just hug you for a little longer,". "Ok" she says.