The Funky Poop

The Funky Human

Funky McShizz p.o.v.

Hugh gave birth to me and I heard him mumble something like 'holy hell'. Hugh flushed me and I was now a bastard drained to the sewer and left to die.

The sewer was fascinating; it smelled like heaven would. However, I was really sad to see all my dead relatives floating around. They were probably drowned to death. I thought of my father. I would get revenge. I spotted a pipe marked Kadwood High School. I remembered when I was in Hugh's digestive system that he said things about Kadwood. It was my only hope.

I started up the pipe to Hugh's school, it was very slippery, and I popped out of one of the girls toilets. There was a girl and she was sitting right above me. I looked up with admiration in a shower of urine. I jumped between her legs and she squealed really weirdly.

She yelled,"Oh my god what the hell is that? It's alive!"

I jumped off her lap and ran making weird splotchy noises. Nobody else was in the bathroom. I got out of the bathroom and started my search for Hugh Jass.

Hugh Jass p.o.v

My ride to school was terrible. A girl named Laxmi put me in a headlock and I was given a citation for not saying sorry for doing nothing.

"He didn't say sorry!", she tried to say.

I argued,"I didn't do anything though."

The bus driver was pissed at me. She said,"I'm sure Laxmi didn't do anything that hurt you. What did you do to her?"

I explained,"I was sitting on the seat, and then she said 'Be my boyfriend' and I said 'no'. Then she put me in a headlock and started hitting my head. I don't fight girls, so it wasn't right."

The bus driver rubbed her chubby head and rolled her tiny eyes,"Quit lying, child. I'm giving you a citation for harassment of another student."

I opened my mouth to argue but no words came out. I wanted to smack Laxmi so badly. I smelled something funny... what was it? I suddenly remembered the funky poop from this morning. Oh my god! I forgot to wipe. I looked at my seat. It was smudged with...blood? Wtf. I looked at my jeans. They didn't have any on them. It must have been like that before I got on the bus. I was just too tired to notice.

A few minutes after I got to school, I saw Laxmi run out of the bathroom. She yelled,"There's a fece demon!" Them I looked on the ground. Guess what I saw? That thing that crawled out of my bum this morning.

It saw me and yelled,"Revenge on papa!" Everybody started screaming. I ran to the nearest classroom and tried to hide.