i got a few tattoos,
and some ear piercings;
i liked my new look,
olivia liked it too.
it was our last year of six form;
you and i no longer spoke,
you were single
and decided it were better if you were
alone.
i was not alone,
i had my fair share of
conversations,
laughs,
and
friends;
but i was still
as lonely as you were.
my mind conjuring scenes of
you and i
eating, walking and talking together.
i watched as you sat
by yourself in classes,
left school by yourself,
and
ate lunch by yourself;
but i couldn't allow it,
even though i really hated you
at that moment;
i hated seeing you have to endure
what i had endured for years.
i was walking to your empty table
at lunch,
you looked up
and seemed shocked.
your eyes were now blue again,
they were wide
and
your mouth was stuffed with pizza.
i sat and just stared at you,
intrigued at your blue eyes.
you asked me if i was okay,
i blinked surprised,
"i'm okay,"
i replied
and you nodded,
your eyebrow twitched as i took a seat by you
and
you rubbed the crumbs and oil off of your fingers,
fingers that wavered slightly.
i frowned, re-thinking my reasoning.
"i've got to go,"
you rushed
and grabbed your stuff to leave.
i gripped your wrist in reflex ,
you didn't know how much i missed you.
oh,
i missed you
so
so
much.
you looked at me,
nerves seeming to flow out of you,
and i at you.
i got up your hand within my grasp,
you looked at me with your eyes full of promise,
we skipped lessons
and caught up.
you told me how you hated the fact that some mornings,
you couldn't remember the day before,
because you had drank too much that night.
you told me how much you hated that
you had to hear what you did the other night from others
because
you just couldn't remember what happened.
i was worried,
your drinking had become bad
you knew it too
but you stayed away from the bottles
and
stuck to the books.
i was proud of you,
i told you that
and you blushed, eyes unable to meet me for a time.
i told you i would see you around.
i do not know why i said that,
maybe it gave us both hope for something better,
something stronger than what we had before.
there were no obstacles in our way:
but i guess i am always wrong.
