Concerto - A Sonata Sequel (Harry Styles FanFiction)

1. Music Was A Curse

Darien Grace

I couldn't hear the music. I knew that it was pulsing all around me, I could feel it vibrate through the air, but I couldn't hear it. I hadn't been able to hear it for a while now. I just couldn't. I hadn't set foot near a piano since that night. The music didn't matter. What was the point of it anyway? Music was a distraction. Music was a curse.

I knew that the McKenneys were worried. I hadn't seen them in two three — the last time being just before we took the Channel Tunnel to Paris. My phone blew up for a week before I tossed it. I was numb. Everything was blessedly and blissfully numb. The world was a haze of blurred shades of grey, long nights, bared skin, and bottle after bottle of liquid amnesia. I had the entire concept of selective memory down to an art. All I needed was a few pills and a bottle.

Bodies crushed in around me from all sides and I pushed back, throwing my entire soul into the gyrating mass. I just didn't care anymore. I was numb. All I wanted to be was numb. I'd fought it for a while, thinking that I couldn't afford to break. That If I broke, if I surrendered, there would be no coming back. I knew that and yet, I gave in anyway. Part of me had asked why I should even give a f.uck anymore. Trying had only ever f.ucked with me. Trying had gotten me to this point in the first place. Trying had killed my mother. Trying had gotten me beaten black and blue. Trying had ripped my innocence away from me. Trying had decimated my heart. Trying had ruined my life. So why even bother anymore? Why bother caring? If the Universe wanted s.hit to happen it would. I was finished crying. I was finished caring. I was numb. I embraced the darkness. I embraced oblivion. I felt nothing.

I didn't try and stop him as his hands raked over my body, their heat leaching into my skin through the fine mesh of my dress. Before, I would have fought back. Before, I would have completely abused whoever the a.sshole was groping me from behind. Before, I had a reason to. Now, he was the reason I'd have a place to spend the night. Now, he was the means to an end.

* * *

Time lost all meaning. I was floating... or drowning. I couldn't tell anymore. Everything just felt the same. I had no idea how long it had been since I'd seen a familiar face and I had no idea when I would. I didn't care. With familiarity came memories, with memories came him and with him came pain. I needed something—anything to block it out, to block him out. I was just so d.amn lost. I had no idea where I was. The last time I'd actually paid attention to a city name or a street sign had been... at least twenty plus bottles ago in Saint Malo. I couldn't tell you how long it had been since then. I always remembered things that I wanted to forget, so I found my ultimate solution. I forgot it all. Or, at least I tried to. I tried to forget my name. I tried to forget my home. I tried to forget my family. But most of all, I tried to forget him. I had to. I couldn't live with the gaping emptiness that threatened to swallow me whole with the mention of his name.

Forgetting only worked for so long before it all just came rushing back, though. The Universe just couldn't seem to get the concept of 'Hide but don't you dare f.ucking Seek'. It kept shoving s.hit back into my face. London had been London. It brought back every little godd.amn thing I'd been working my a.ss off to forget. I'd never tried so hard to block out anything in my life. I was d.amn good at deleting specific memories, moments, or emotions, but these... these just f.ucking refused.