When did it all go wrong

Now

I am sitting in the hospital bed listening to the machine beeping constantly keeping track of my heart. I wish it would stop. I am thinking of the day I turned 10 and how today I was 15 and had finally narrowed my search down to a 3 year time period between my 3rd and my 6th birthday. I know it's not a lot of progress to make in 5 years but I have also figured out the cause of the fighting, me.

I flicked through my scrapbook peering at the pages mum and dad where smiling in most of them but in the ones after my 10th birthday they are scowling. I wonder aimlessly if I will get any visitors. I doubt it as dad abandoned me when I was 12. I haven't seen him since. Mum is happy I have a few letters from her and when I read them all the happiness is leeched from me. I haven't seen her since I was sent to hospital when I was 13.

I am lost in my thoughts so deeply that when the woman calls "Alice you have a visitor." I almost don't respond, I forget sometimes that is what they call me it is not my real name though. I haven't been called my real name since dad left.

I will not let them know the truth though as I write this in my diary I know it is pointless as they read it every night. I will have hell to pay tomorrow. I wish I had some privacy but in hospital you get none, I don't even have the dignity of clothes I have to put up with a hospital gown made of paper that if I rip I don't get any clothes at all for a week.

My hospital is a mental asylum although I am completely sane. I am just from a different time so are my parents but I am only 15 and mum is 9567 and dad is 9823 because we are different and in the 17 hundreds different is insane.