Not Always an Outcast

Prologue-Before College

Elementary

I was always an outcast.  Nobody wanted to be near me nonetheless talk to me. The worst day of my elementary career was during P.E.  We had to be on a team.  Like always, I was chose last.  The team that had to choose me complained about it. "We don't want her, she was on my team the last time"  Thats all they say.

Jr. High

In Jr. High it became a little worse.  All anybody cares about are sports, money, clothes, and being popular.  The worst time in Jr.High was when I was on the volleyball team.  I was never good at sports because I could never  go out for them in elementary school.  That wasn't the only thing, if you didn't wear spandex then you were fat or poor.  I  was always self-conscious and didn't like to show off my body.  I was also shy and didn't talk that much but that still didn't give them the right to be mean to me and all those that are like me.

High School

High School was the worse.  It was a Friday night right after a football game.  Jake was having a party at his house. (Jake is the captain of the football team and Brittany is the captain of the cheerleading squad.)  I go for the first and last time in my high school years.  When I get there the porch and house is crowded and the music is pounding.  The scent of alcohol and marijuana was every where.  The first thing that happens when I walk in a cup is shoved into my hands. I go into the kitchen where some football players and cheerleaders are making out, grinding, playing beer pong, and dry humping. Jake sees me and hollers "No sluts allowed!"  By now I'm not shy any more and not afraid to speak my mind.  "Then why is Brittany and her friends here?" I ask.  I set the cup on the counter and walk into the living room.  People are basically screwing each other.  I look around disgusted, they're grinding, stripping, touching each other sexually, and some of the girls are giving guys blow jobs, and lap dances.  A girl who I thought didn't drink comes up to me and hands me a cup "water".  I tell her thanks and she nods walking off.  I take a drink of it and realize that it's not water but at that moment I don't care. I get buzzed so I decide to look around.  I go upstairs in search of a bathroom. I get pulled in a bedroom. I didn't recognized the boy. With my buzz I didn't care so he undresses me. I tried to fight it, but he is stronger.

"I know you like it." He told me. 

"No, really I don't, Let me go." I plead.

He won't let go. Since there was a party going on outside the door, no one heard me yelling for help. I felt disgusted with myself in the morning. I then became shy again because he RAPED me!!!

I was do disgusted with myself that bought 6 pregnancy tests. They all came out negative except 1, it came out positive. I went  to  the doctors to double check.  Luckily I wasn't.