Dangerous Touch

DT| 02

*EDITED*

I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I've always had this sinking feeling in my chest. Although I enjoyed the warmth and comfort darkness held, it became lonely at times. I would walk around the town some days to take in the beautiful scenery, and everywhere I turned there were couples, groups of friends, whole families–everything I didn't have nor experienced. It filled me with an ounce of jealousy until I realized that Uncle Eric is all I've known, he's all I'll need.

School was and always will be the same: hateful glares, hateful whispers, hateful words. It's like a never ending cycle that I just can't seem to escape from. But there was something different now. It was less intense than it used to be. It's almost as if rather than being on this town's radar, I was completely off of it. Before, I was at least acknowledged, but now, it was as if there was a complete lack of my presence.

I felt like a little girl again who would have done anything to get people's attention. After being deprived of it for so long, it ended up becoming something I craved. Ignorance was bliss and to them, my supposed lack of presence was exactly that.

I stared at him as he smoked and I couldn't help but notice how he seemed so tense, as if he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. I wasn't stalking him per se, I just happened to notice him on my way out of the school building. As I continued to stare, I noticed more things about him like the tattoos lurking beneath his thick gray sweater and the way his knuckles had bruises.

Before I was able to stop myself, I made my way towards him. It was a stupid decision considering that he hated my guts probably for the same reason that everyone else did, but I took my chances.

"Hey." Rather than answering back with a similar greeting, he chose to ignore me and continued smoking his blunt. I tried a couple more times only to receive the same nonexistent reaction. The smell of his weed blew into my direction, making me scrunch my nose from the awful smell. How can he smoke this? He waved me away as if silently telling me to go away. When he noticed that I wasn't budging any time soon, he slowly turned his head my way with a blazing fire in his eyes.

Once again, I greeted him, but this time, he stared off into the distance. He did this for a couple of seconds before he pushed right past me. His arm roughly pushed me to the side and this angered me to no end.

"Go away," he said to me and I finally got the hint that clearly, I was not wanted here. Knowing that he was the only person that didn't cower from my presence made me want to make him see me past the reputation. I convinced myself we were kindred spirits, people who had similar experiences and who were shunned for the actions and beliefs of others.

I accepted my fate and turned away, getting ready to make my walk home.

"You don't know anything," he said as I was taking my first step. I slowly turned around and took note of the faraway look in his red eyes.

"So tell me what I don't know." I want to understand why he hates me so much if we've never even had a conversation nor been in each other's presence before today. He took another puff of his blunt and released it, just as he released the tension surrounding his body. I was able to see the way his entire frame relaxed with just one pull.

He sat down on the railing of the school's side entrance—the one constantly inhibited by potheads and smokers), and when he didn't turn away from my presence or signal for me to leave him alone, I took a seat as well

We sat there until the sky started to dim—him smoking and me inhaling the fumes. I looked up at the sky, enjoying the sheer beauty the faded colors of the sky provided and when I looked to my side, I was Lucas doing the exact same. At that moment, we were just two lost souls looking for a way out.

"What's your story?" he asked and I didn't even know where to begin. He looked at me as I shrugged, no response in mind knowing full well that he knew what everyone else in this town knew. Rather than trying to change his view of me, I instead let him reel in it, knowing that the real events that happened were of no importance to him. If they were, he would have never judged me on a whim.

"Don't act like you don't know." He smirked and looked away, taking another pull from his blunt.

"Why do you smoke?"

"You won't understand until you try it," he responded while holding out the blunt, waiting for me to take hold of it. I refused, not particularly enjoying the smell of it and he just shrugged and looked forward. We continued to sit there in a comfortable silence and for once, rather than basking in the warmth of the darkness, I basked in the comfort his mere presence provided.

I was deprived of physical contact and emotional connections with other people rather than Uncle Eric for years, and finally getting a small taste of what it really felt like was much more comforting than I could have ever imagined.

His hatred for me seemed to simmer just then while this mysterious aura surrounding him got more opaque by the second.

"You don't hate me, do you?" I questioned. If he really did, he would not be here with me right now. If he did, I'm pretty sure I would have been very aware of it by now.

"No," was the one word I needed to hear, and just like that, a world of loneliness had a small ounce of light.

Before I was able to question him of why he gave me a look of hate when he first saw me, he finished the last bits of his blunt, got up, and walked away as if the conversation was nothing but a bother to him.

I sat there a bit more, not yet ready to get up and head home. A home is a place in which one is provided with peace and serenity. For me, it was anything but that. It was a constant reminder of memories I held with a father who disappeared into thin air. The only peace and serenity waiting for me at home was Uncle Eric but now that he was working later shifts, I saw less and less of his presence every day.

Just as I was about to get up, Lucas' made his presence known once again and held out his hand. "I thought you went home already," I commented, waiting for him to confirm that he did.

"I did," was all he was able to muster out. I would be stupid to believe that he came back for me like a knight in shining armor, but all good stories come to an end. Instead, I let myself believe that he had other matters to take care of but came upon a lone girl he previously shared a comforting moment of silence with.

With that said, we walked the same way before we finally parted ways, neither of us saying so much as a 'bye' to each other.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Rather than unpublishing and publishing all the chapters I have out so far, I instead decided to just update them to my liking and publish the new versions as well. So, whenever you come across an *EDITED*  at the beginning of a chapter, it is part of the new version!