Teenage Train Wreck

2

-Connor I don't know what you think you're doing, but I'm telling you it stops now.- Ms.Singh says pouring a glass of ice water into a cup. She handed him the glass and poured another for herself. Ms.Singh ran a frustrated hand through her hair and took a seat behind her desk. He hung his head low in disappointment of myself. -I'm sorry ma'am. Honestly I'm try my best.- He was telling the truth. Truthfully, he had planned to take it easier in the upcoming weeks. But right now with the search for Brandon threatened to be called off his mind was speeding in a million other directions.
   -Connor.We are not doing this again. I told you. I won't allow you to continue this way. Sweetie this is not healthy. I care about you too much.We care about you too much. You are going to kill yourself if you continue living like this.-
He took a shaky breathe, trying to blink bad tears like a mad man. Why was this so difficult?
-I um. I'm...Im sorry.I didn't mean to disappoint you.- He looked up and finally met her eyes, expecting aggravation or rage. She lets out a sigh.
-No darling I'm not upset with you. I just want you to be happy and healthy because honestly you deserve that after all you've been through.- He dropped  his gaze again knowing what she was implying. He stayed silent. Too soon. She sensed his hesitation and sat back in her chair.
-I need you to talk to me. You have to let me in so I can help you. We can get through this together.-
-I'm okay.- He responded with confidence. She pulls out her glasses and places them on her face.
-If you insist. Either way I'm not letting this go. You're meeting with Ms.Mota twice a week in her office preferably Monday's and Wednesday's but she said her door is always open for you. In addition you will be participating in peer tutoring/ mentoring sessions each day during your resource. I have already spoken to your partner and I can assure you that they will be cordial and polite. Finally I expect to have a written and oral report of your progress every other week. Am I understood?-
-Whatever you want ma'am.- She groans a frustrated sound.
-Connor please stop doing things to please other people! You deserve to be happy! You owe it to yourself!- He stopped to dwell on her previous statement. Maybe she was right? Maybe he was a bit obsessed with making other people happy. He had always been a firm believer that making people happy was the most important thing in life.Because if he tried his very best to make 7 billion people happier then 7 billion people would try and make him happy.So far, it hasn't been working out so well.But that's okay. He still has hope. He doesn't respond, too far gone on his train of thought.
-Just be careful okay? Look out for Soph and Daph for me? You'll have to bring them round sometime yeah?- His lips curl up at the thought of his little sisters. Sophie who is eight just entered the second grade.She's bright and intelligent and passionate and God does he love his little sister. Daphne is only five but she's amazing as well. Though she's not biologically related, his parents had decided to adopt her the minute they saw her at the facility. The way her golden eyes contrasted with her smooth carmel colored skin was flawless. (A/N that's right black character!!! Poc represent) Daphne was beginning kindergarten this year and Connor was so excited to see her blossom into a smart, gorgeous young woman. Connor and his dad were the sole providers for their two little balls of sunshine. Contrary to most cliché movies, Connor's dad was a great guy. He didn't drink alcohol, he would never lay an unloving finger on any of his children, and had no problem with Connor's sexuality. They lost his mom a few years back in a fire. She used to work at the middle school here in town. She was a librarian. She lived to read. Every crevice of the house was covered in loose pages, stray makeshift bookmarks or notes she had taken. It was a unspoken rule in this small town not to speak of her passing. Of course everyone offers their condolences for a few weeks but then life goes on. It was difficult, but they were getting through it. That is...until the day Brandon went missing. He and Connor had been walking home from school one day when it happened. Since Connor was a junior and Brandon a freshman, they decided it only made sense be there for one another . They were right next to each other when it happened.Two men came out of nowhere are just snatched his little brother away from him. Of course he fought and screamed and kicked but it wasn't enough. He thinks about it everyday. About how if he had pushed just a little harder then Brandon could be here and nine of this trouble would even exist. It's all his fault.He knows it is.
Connor just nods. That's all he can do at this point. This seems semi satisfactory to Ms.Singh.
-Alright kid. You head back to class then yeah? Grab a few cookies on the way out. You're skin and bones sweetie.-
So he does. He collects his pass and his belongings and returns to AP world history. As the day progresses the idea slips hid mind slowly.
For a day, he's half okay. Emotions at bay. If only things could stay this way.
      That same night when the two boys get home both their similarities and differences are evident. One goes home to a lush, cold,three story home on the outskirts of town while the other returns to a sweet, comfortable suburban home.
       The first boy, Troye rides with a friend home. His best friend Tyler drives him home in his black Range Rover. Troye is normally the talkative type but today, he presses his forehead against the cool window and just ignores the world around him. He doesn't know when it started, him just being numb towards all feelings and emotions. He supposed it was just a result of years of constantly being ridiculed and put on the backseat in his parents life. They wanted a girl this mug they made incredibly clear. Troye was an accident.This much he was able to accept when he was young. His parents already had his sister Kacey who was practically the essence of perfection itself and Laurelle and Peter just wanted to remake that. Kacey was a tall, bright, gorgeous girl and a star athlete at volleyball. All Troye ever wanted was a lick of attention even if only for second.
     Connor on the other hand came home to a hug from both his little sisters and his dad. His dad was his best friend. He had no one else in the world he trusted more except maybe Ms.Sugg. So he told him everything...Scratch that maybe not everything. He told him about his anxiety and depression but he left out a few details. He would never tell his dad that he was straining himself like crazy trying to get into a decent school. Or that he took a second job when his dad was already upset about him having one in the first place (insistent that Connor focus on his studies and his own journey to happiness,which Connor thinks is foolish because he just won't be happy without Brandon or his mom.) He loathed attention and right now everyone had theirs turned to him.