Ingrid was tired. Not only physically, but mostly mentally tired. She had been hiding so much inside her chest, that the constant pain had become normal to her.
The feeling was like a ghost. She could feel its presence all the time, and only she could understand what it was, but she would ignore it, pretend it wasn't there. But there were also times when it manifested in many ways, as in tears, in bad mood, but mostly in a unbearable chest pain.
When it was too much, she would lock herself in her room for days. Her friends would ask if everything was ok, and she would lie. She lied for so long, that somehow that eventually became her truth.
Ingrid had boyfriends. It wasn't hard for her to draw attention from whom she wanted. This could be enough for many girls, but not for her. No, she was different. Her heart wouldn't race when boys touched her skin, her laugh of their silly jokes was faked. And even thought she really tried, she just couldn't fall for them. All her friends were happy with their boyfriends, while every date she had was a test of "how long could she bare the claustrophobia".
Eventually, she learned how to live with that. Being as pretty as Ingrid was, it wasn't hard to find someone willing to be with her. She stood in her comfort zone for almost 26 years. She convinced herself that full happiness was just that.
But despite her great effort to hide it, to ignore it, Ingrid was gay. She knew it since kindergarten. This wasn't something she still had to figure out, it was already rock solid in her mind. She kept it in one of the dark corners of her head, like trying to hide the elephant in the brain. During so much time (too much time), she felt alone and helpless.
Until she couldn't lie anymore. She had to live her life fully for the very first time. She decided to go for her best chance.
