Lost Inside

p r o l o g u e

I ran.

I ran as if my life depended on it. My heart beat against my chest as my legs pounds against the marble floor. I could hear my loud pants reverberate across the empty room. Beads of sweat dripped from my forehead onto my lips. 

I was almost there. Finally, my goal, my ambition to open the door would be achieved. After all this time, I would be able to open the door, and unlock the secrets. I reached out to the door...

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I lost it. I lost my chance again.

Have you ever been so close to achieving something, to gaining something, only for it to be snatched away from you? Have you ever worked so hard for something, but have it right beyond the reach of your fingertips? Have you?

If you haven't, you don't understand my pain.

It's almost as if you're given a false hope. A plant grows towards the sunlight, turning to face it every morning. It's goal is to finally greet the sun, to get to touch this immense being in the sky. The young plant's dream is to be able to reach the sun, and then it would feel accomplished. The plant would only then feel content with itself, only when it reaches the top.  It never does though. The plant feels betrayed and failed when it finally understands that it can't touch the sun, that it can't succeed. 

Although, we all knew from the start it wouldn't make it. 

The fox strives to grab a grape, a seemingly sweet grape at the top of the tree. It works hard, day and night. Yet, it never succeeded. Success was impossible, it was as if it wasn't there in the first place. As if the grapes were mere hallucinations, something the fox wanted to strive for. Eventually, the fox gives up.

I've been having that dream ever since I was 10 years old. Five years straight, it haunted me every night. And every night, I got so close to touching the door, but never did. It was my challenge. It was something I had to achieve. The only thing was, I couldn't. I couldn't achieve my goal, I couldn't get out of that room. Maybe on the outside, there was something important? Something that I wouldn't know, something that I'm ignorant of, until I open the door. 

The door. It was what I strived for, it was what I put every fiber of my being into. 

It never opened though. 

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