Repainting A Blank Canvas - [Riren/Ereri]

I Can't

Hey guys..

I cried yesterday I also cried today.

I'm even crying over the phone right now.

Why I'm writing this out is strange even to me. I guess I just want an outlet. I want to tell someone that doesn't live close by me, I am tired of people close to me and their judgement. I wish I can stop feeling all together, I'm sad. Very sad. Frustrated and angry too. I wanna let it all out so I won't snap and go insane.

To people out there who's reading this. I know you're already judging me. Why do I have to make this note and post it? Well I just want to vent it. It hurts less if strangers judge you than be judged by friends.

If I have any real friends at all here ... My only true friend is Rourou. And we're not even together for real. We only talk online. Its so sad. There are times when I wish I could just go to her country so I could hug her.

I have many problems right now and I'm scared because of my own thoughts. I don't like being scared. I don't wanna be sad.

My problem is.. Really petty..

You remember? To those who's been with me since Bitter and the Sweet? I once complained about my teacher.

Well since yesterday he's been giving me shit.

Today is no better...

I just look down and feel bad about it .. I don't even know why he does this and not just to me, to every body in my class..

But today he might have broke me a little too much..

I doubt I can write for a while and in sorry for that.

You're all so sweet and so kind. I wish people were more like that to me in personal. I wish I could meet you all and you guys were my friends instead..

Anyway, thank you for reading. Sorry for wasting your time if you really wanted a chapter.

____

If you thought about it, if people were more empathetic towards each other we wouldn't be having so much war and death every day. If people were to share their food to every starving child, if every rich man built a home for a homeless family, if a passerby were to give a hand to the elderly merely passing the buzzing street, if one intelligent were to teach for free to those who can't afford, if hospitals tended to the sick for free.

If people listened enough, there would be less misunderstandings.

If people gave more, no one would have nothing.

If for every homeless animal there was an owner.

Its easier to judge people if you we're merely looking afar,

If you we're in their shoes it'll be so much different.

Men don't even respect women anymore. Chivalry is almost a myth.

What I'm trying to say really,

People make mistakes,

Let's not make more.

Think about what needs to be done and what should be done.

Hopeless but still hoping,
Alyssa

~MixMix~