Fuck Love

Smoking and drinking was my thing. Well at least when I was with him.Life was good as long as I was stoned and well wasted. Party's, bonfires and passed out on my bed is basically where anybody could find me. I was usually with "my" type of friends . Although most of the guys were single there was only one guy I had a so call "thing" for, and everybody including him knew that. We had the closest fucking friendship that we knew dating would fuck it up. He had like a healing hug like when I was in his arms I was safe and protected. He was one of the only people I trusted with everything but my phone, honestly there was nothing to hide no nudes or dick pics that were sent to me, it was just the one personal and most privet thing I had. But I don't trust any mother fucker with it. Then of course school had to fuck it all up. Rumors stated and friends got distant except him. He stayed by my side. Through everything . Getting suspended , bullied and all my family issues. After things started to look better the universe just had to fuck up my whole life with him having to move 10 mother fucking hours away and never being able to see him. That's when we got distant. Calling every night at exactly 2:30 a.m is the one thing that kept us close. Well close until he got addicted to coke and became a dealer Which lead to fucking up his relationship with his foster parents. Which were the only foster parents he was okay with. He had been moved from state to state home to home but found somewhere he somewhat belonged. That's when he wasn't able to be there while we were nothing going down the roughest fucking road. After he was sent to Juvenile jail in Texas for 3 years which is when shit got the thoughest.
With 3 attempts to kill myself and trying to fight my addition to pain killers somehow things actually started to get better better. I meet someone new. Not forgetting Danny but just like a new Chapter of a new book.wasn't at a party or a bonfire but online. Online as in Facebook. Which is fucked up. At least to me. He didn't and would never be able to replace Danny. Derek had things Danny didn't have, but Danny had things Derek didn't have. But things got more serious then it had ever with Danny. With Danny still having 2 years in D.T  having Derek there was one of the best thing that had happened. But having a new guy a "damaged" girl caused problem and drama. But that didn't affect what we had. We were stronger than the rumors and lies that went around the town. Eventually we got together and everyday I fell for him more. It was like a fairytale which is why the problem was. The dumbass teenager I was couldn't see through his lies and shit he  said to me. I found out he had feeling for more than me. Which don't gete wrong I don't give a duck of he thinks another girl is cute or hot but when he got feelings for her I lost my shit. It pissed me off so fucking bad we went back to being just friends. But slowly i fell for him again. And believed everything fucking thing came out of his fucking mouth which fucked me up again but I tried to pretend that It was just a rumor that people started until I found out it wasn't just a rumor it was the fucking truth. When I told him that I knew he was a "thing" with another chick he promised to end things with her but really he started a new thing with a new chick. With him having 2 mother fucking "side chick" I was going to end things for reals. He had tried to end thing with me but the dumbass I was I said he couldn't leave me like this. Time after time it happened.