Exchange

chapter 9- basic

When we got home king was sleeping in the room with the tv on. I turn off the lights and went to the room imany sleeps in.
I knock the door twice
"Come in"
I look around and see her on the floor writing something.
"What are you doing?"- I said sitting next to her
"Writing a song"
"About?"
"How life is unpredictable and you just got to keep hoping from stone to stone trying to keep up."
"Wow, show me what you got so far"
"Alright it ain't nothing major yet so don't be harsh on me" I rolled my eyes at her and urged her on.
This is where my story changes/ people I use to ride for ain't the same .
I've been thinking that its my fault/ I'm to blame.
But sometime it be like that / sometime people fake realness
Everyone trying to be something they not.
Always got some obstacle in my way , why can't I just be careless.
Things are changing again (yeah)
Yeah my life is taking another turn
I'm starting to realize this is all a race
A race call life.
I swear its never in my intention / but no matter what I always send the wrong message
Sometime I feel the clock is running out/ my dreams fall on death ear. No ones around
I'm not even sure what's good and what's not / I just gotta keep reminding myself to keep going and that's that.
I left things behind / for the better or for the worst? I don't really know.
All I know is life happens and I had to move on.
"That all I have"- she says
"That's deep FAM you okay?"
" I just didn't think my life would come to me being a stripper. I worked soo hard to get here and all of the sudden swoop its taken from me and I have to work twice as hard doing something I never though it would come to. Stripping. And I've always worked hard but its just, I had this crazy idea in my head that as soon that I get into college I'll be fine and carefree but no. And I can't help but feel like I'm shinning because my best friend is taking this with a grain of salt as if this was nothing."
"Awww I'm flattered that you think of me as a best friend. And also that you think I'm unaffected by all this"
" your not supposed to be flattered, your supposed to be just as annoyed as me!"
" okay sorry" I say " why in the world is life doing this to us arggggg. This is so unfair."
" much better"
" but seriously the only reason I don't seem bothered is because I hate showing emotions."
" yeah that remind me you never told me anything about your family."
" theirs nothing to tell, my story is way to complicated for one night. But ill tell it like this. I was born on the ugly side of the world. My father was never in the picture from the get go. My mother manage to not go crazy up until i turned 3 around that time my neighbor watched me and her 3 kids. That situation kept me alive but not complitly safe. When i turned 7 i started mowing the lawns after a guy though me how to. I started earning enough for food since the little house we lived in was payed off because my mother was having sex with the land lord. I turned twelve and started taking better care of me and my mother as best as i could. Men used to come to our house all the time wanting to buy me. Others came for money because my mother was into drugs. At 13 i got a job and kept it until i was actually old enought to have an actual job. I worked two jobs and i skipped the tenth grade and took a year of to make some money. I worked my ass of that year and made hella money. But my freind died and noone was telling who killed her so i did the only thing i new how, i paid for her funeral and with the rest of the money i got a car. I went back to school with not enought money for college so i worked hard to get a schoolarship. I turned 17 senior year and graduated. I left and i dont plan on going back."
" wow what about your mother?"
" she choose that lifestyle. She was born in a rich neighborhood but moved to the hood to be with my sperm donner of a father. She never ounce called her parents. Not even when we were homeless."
" you cant hate her based on her pass"
"I dont hate her, she never was a mother to me so i have no close feelings for her".
" well it be like that sometimes. I dont even believe in god anymore. To many thing just happens to fall on innocent people. Why are some people born beautiful, rich ,and safe while others and ugly, poor and in danger every second of the day is beyond my comprehension."
" i have to believe in a god because the times when i was alone and scared the only thing that keept me from fallling was the though of someone out there waiting for me to do something big and great, someone opening doors for me and the only thing i had to do was get up and look. This world is cold enough with out lossing hope and faith. I'd hate to see how scary it is knowing your complitely alone. I dont believe in religion but i believe in the unknown."
"Really comming down with the philosophy stuff now arent you.?"
"Yup, beside ive already got several strikes."
"What?"
" strike one: im black, strike two: im a women, strike three: i live in the united state of America, ive been out, im just waiting for my ending,"
" true shit with the police killing us and us killing each other im surprise we're still here, man life is scary"
" nothing truer, and you got these little girls throwing up fake gang signes trying to be cute when real shit happening, like why are you trying to be something your not? The thug life aint made for everyone and half of those wannabe gang menbers aint never struggled not a day in they lives throwing up gang signs decked out in prada gucci and designer cars talking about the struggle is real. Bitch where?"
I busted out laughing my as off at her. She right though too many fakes trying to pretend like they real.
"Anyways what about jorden? I saw the way he was looking at you" i said raising my eyebrows.
" man whatever he aint my type, pretty boys be playing too much"
" alright ,okay as long as im invited to the wedding im fine"
" just as long as your not too jealous of him." She said stricking a pose.
We ended up falling asleep on her floor.
Arthur's not.
Yeah i know this chapter was basic hence the name. Writer's block, but still trying just because i actually want to finish this.
Had a hard week and this year is starting to look bad but hey gotta keep it moving.
I hope everyone is having a nice day.
Stay golden--jessica