Becoming a murderer

Pain

'They deserve pain. They deserve suffering. They deserve what they did to me. They need to endure what i had to. I hate them. No, I despise them. '

I kept chanting this in my mind. Im trying to convince myself that its true. Its funny, I've managed to convince everybody else that this is what I feel. Im the only one who knows the truth.

I so badly want to hate them, and that's what hurts the most. I so badly want to feel a sense of pleasure with every tear that drops down their face, every feeling of pain they have, ever moment of suffering they endure.

But I can't.

Long ago, there was  this young girl that loved the world and everybody in it. She didn't  see the darkness in humanity, she didn't  think they were capable of it. She saw the good in people, a light in the dark. She was innocent and kind. She was happy.

But she was weak, naive, stupid. She was fragile and needed  to be protected.

That girl used to be me.

That was before everything happened. Before my life became hell. 

They made me become this revenge seeking monster I am today. At least that's what I try to believe.

I tried to forgive them, several times actually. I tried to believe they didn't mean to hurt me.

But each time they proved my belief wrong, each time they showed me their true dark colors.

They did this until I snapped.

I turned to look into the petrified eyes of the five teenagers that ruined my life.

In my hand I held a metal object that could take their lives in the blink of an eye. Maybe if I shot them once, they could feel just a portion of the suffering they put me through.

But no, that's not enough. I want them to feel it all........ Every piece of what they did.

Killing them would be too easy and putting them through physical pain can only bring me so much satisfaction.

What could I possibly do to make them suffer the full consequences?

A whimper escaped one of their mouths snapping me out of my thoughts.

My head slowly turned to look at the girl.

Ha! If she thought this was bad, she will not  make it very long.

I decided until I know what I wanted to do, I will let them begin the physical pain.

They were all chained to the floor, tape over their mouth. There eyes begging for mercy.

The two boys were fighting against the chains while the girls just cried .

Aw they look so sad. How cute.

I looks into the eyes I were once in love with. I walked toward him smiling. I lifted my hand to touch his sweat covered cheeck.

" Oh, you look kind of upset Troykins" I said smiling.

He just looked at me with tears climbing down his face.

" How pathetic!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I force fully slapped my hand across his face as hard as I could.

His head whipped in the other direction. The red hand print already starting to form.

" Oh sorry, kinda lost my temper."  I said in a innocent child like voice.

" Any way, you guys should know that I haven't decides what I want to do with you yet. Do I want to kill you? Torture you? I don't know. So in the mean time........." I spoke with a smile while I put the gun in a position that I was comfortable with.

BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM

The entire room filled with the screams of the five I held captive.

I laughed loudly.

" Wow... My....my..... Aim has increased......... By a lot..!" I said in between giggles.

I had shot each one of them in the big toe.

Their reaction was worth it. The pain that gleamed in their eyes made me some what sad. No matter what I wanted to believe, I still cared about my old friends. I just had to do this for us to be even.

I wasn't planning on killing them until later. I just said that to strike up fear.

" Well, have fun with the whole, bleeding toe thing! Ciao!" I said enthusiastically. I made my way out of the metal , sound proof room.

This is going to be fun.

My name is Makayla Rays and this is how I became a murder.