Mending A Broken Heart The Hard Way

Chapter 1

"Hurry up, Amanda," my mom calls from downstairs.

"Okay. I am coming. Don't rush me," I shout back.

Those were the last words that I had said to my mother before she died. All of it was my fault. I always told her that I hated her and that I wished she would just die. Now look where I am.

At her funeral, I had to give the speech, but with me knowing that I could have possibly killed her with my words go hatred, I couldn't do it. I had my twin sister, Andrea, give the speech. The thought of me giving that speech after killing my mother was just terrible.

As the drivers of the car drove us home my boyfriend, Aaron, began kissing my neck. I then pushed him off and said, "Aaron. Not the time."

He them looked at me and said "What. What do you mean?"

I then say, "It is not the time to do this."

"Any time is a great time," he then replies.

I turn my body towards him and shout, "Get this through your horny little brain of yours. My mother is dead. And you don't even care."

Aaron then says, "I do care."

"No you don't care. All you care about is having sex," I scream.

"I don't always care about sex. I care about you," Aaron says.

"Yeah whatever," I say as I turn towards the window and watch the house go by .

The driver then drops me and Andrea off at home and pulls out of the driveway taking Aaron and Andrea's boyfriend home.

As soon as I got in the house I ran upstairs to my room and lasted on my bed looking at the ceiling thinking to myself 'why did she have to go. Why couldn't have been me.'

I didn't mean to hurt my mother. And I know that I didn't kill her. The bad car accident killed but what caused that car accident was my fault. If I wouldn't have turned the radio dial up do loud that it distracted her made her swerve, she would still be here today.

I don't know if I could ever forgive myself for that.