We Could Never Be Just Best Friends (boyxboy)

This Is The Way I Never Felt Before

Nicolai

She stood there. Her beautiful blonde hair floating in the cold autumn wind.
I wanted to kiss her so bad that my lips would explode from all the pressure.
Her fingers were poking in her long blonde hair I wanted to smell everyday.

But I couldn't do all of that.
I was pretending to be with her just for the sex, I wasn't.
But she did, she just wanted to feel something, she just wanted to feel someone, and that someone was me.
She didn't like me, she was far from that.
She just wanted to use me so she wouldn't need to be or feel alone when Jackson wasn't there.

I wanted her in the way I didn't want anyone.
I didn't want her just to joke around, I wanted to be with her.

And this is the way I never felt before.

I was sick of Ethan constantly asking me if I already screwed her.
Nobody knew I didn't want that, not even her.

It was all just pretend.

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"I will have sex with her." I exclaimed, "Eventually."

"Dude..." Ethan gasped, "You like her or something?"

And that was the question I have desperately wished to be asked.

Do I really like her?
Is she more than just sex?

"I kinda do." I finally said it after leaving Ethan in this awkward silence for at least five minutes.

His face was so weird at than moment. I couldn't read it.
He was unspeakable.

"And I thought you like me." His face went down like he is about to cry.

That fucker.

"Fag." I said, "I just told you my secret, you are suppossed to say something."

"I did." He laughed.

"Something supportive or something, I don't know." I shrugged.

"I was joking." He burst into laugh.

"I know." I exclamied.

"So," He came closer, "How do you know it?", And he tapped my back, "I mean, how do you know she is not just a joke?"

"I just do, okay?"

"Fine." He kept his face straight.

"Fine? Seriously?"

"Dude, I have never been in love or something, I don't know what to say." He backed off.

"This is all fucked up." I stood up from Ethan's bed, my hands poking into my messy hair.

"I don't want to like anybody in that way!" I exclaimed.

Ethan was just sitting on his bed staring at me blankly .

"What?" I snapped.

"You are funny." He giggled.

"Yeah, this is funny to you?"

"Kinda." He was stilling giggling.

"Fag." I said straight into his face.

He just stretched out on the bed and mumbled something to his chin.
His body showed off when he did it, and I must say I got chills.
And that is completely normal because I am a teenager and my hormones are going wild now.

"Do you want me to make you feel better?" He asked smirking.

I seriously think he is gay.
No I don't actually, but God he seems so gay sometimes.

"How?"

"Come here." He said tapping the spot on the bed.

"You are such a fag."

"So are you." He exclaimed.

I sat on the bed next to him.
I had a feeling that he is literally going to kiss me, but thanks to God he began tickling me.
I actually hated tickling and he knew it, but its much better than being kissed by another dude who happens to be your best friend.

He tickled me from my tummy to my feet.

"Stop!" I literally yelled for help.

His hands were all over me.
Not in that way!
They were tickling me even on my thigh near my member, and I felt really uncomfortable.

I backed off.

"Enough of tickling, huh?" Ethan asked gasping for breath.

"Yeah."

"You are still feeling the same?" He asked, his face full of mixed emotions.

What is that supposed to mean?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, you are still kinda sad and shit, didn't this make you laugh?"

"It did. Thanks."

I am seriously sounding like a heartbroken puppy.

He moved even close to me, and he hugged me.

I hugged him back.

"You will get over her." He whispered to my ear.

"Its not like I am into her that much, but I kinda am. I don't even know."

I was already out of his embrace now.

"Ask her then." He said.

"What?"

"If she likes you or something, maaan." He laughed.

"I don't want her to think that I like her or something."

"Eh, why?" Ethan gave me confused look.

I was confused too.

"I want, but not yet."

"Oh." Ethan gasped.

And then I got an idea.
I could actually ask Ethan if he could ask her.

"Dude?" I squeezed his face like I am not normal or like I've just found out new continent. Or like I am about to kiss him.

He then backed off.
What?

"What the fuck?" He snapped.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Were you just trying to kiss me?"

I kept my face straight.
Was he really that dumb?

"No. What the fuck man? I wanted to ask you if you could ask Chanel if she likes me!" I exclaimed, raising my arms in the air.

"Oh, yeah I could." He laughed, "But you don't have to act like you are about to kiss me next time."

"Thanks man." I hugged him tightly, "Do you want me to by the way?"

"What?"

I let him out of my embrace, pushed him on the bed, and sat on top of him.

"Dude what are you doing?" His facial expression was hilarious.

"Asking you if you want me to kiss you." I smirked.

His mouth literally made big 'O'.

"Get the fuck off of me." He snapped.

Well that is the answer I was searching for.

I got off of him, and as soon as I did it he rushed outside of my room.

It wasn't like I was really trying to kiss him, I was just playing with him, I mean we always do stuff like this, why did he snap like this?

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