Wings of Sun

Confessions

The following day, Severus was nervous, and it certainly showed. Harry didn't say anything, but Severus was sure Harry knew something was up. During breakfast, Severus opted to stare at his french toast instead of eating. His stomach was in knots, and he knew if he ate anything, it would be coming back up later.

The prospect of Harry rejecting him ate at him. He could clearly imagine the boy laughing at his face with the phrase "Why would anybody want you?" dancing off his tongue. Everytime he saw Harry, he had to look away. On more than one occasion, he opened his mouth to say the words, but nothing came out. He didn't understand. He was a spy, an ex-Death Eater, a soldier. He had faced plenty of hardships before, so why did the prospect of Harry never being in his life hurt so much? Before his mother mentioned it, he hadn't a care in the world what would have happened during the summer, but now he was willing to do front flips to get him to stay with him. He was getting soft, and honestly, he didn't know what to think about it.

He also knew, that with Harry becoming his ward, that he had to let Harry in on a few secrets in his life that he would rather keep hidden. He couldn't keep the boy in the dark about his past forever. Eventually, especially when they went to Hogwarts, it would come up. He didn't know how the boy would react, but he knew it would seal his fate one way or the other.

Harry seemed to have enough of mopey Severus when it came lunch time. Harry kept staring at him over his sandwich, prompting him to say something with those big green eyes. Severus swallowed, not only the bite of food, but the large baseball sized lump that was clogging his throat. He met Harry's eyes, and could clearly see the message running through the boy's mind:

Say something, damn it. I know you want to, so why don't you just spit it out already?

Although usually he would rebuke the boy on his choice of words, right then he could understand the boy's frustration. He was giving off questions, but not the answers the kid so clearly wanted. His eyes were narrowed, the green sparkling with confusion, and his wings twitched, a motion he seemed to have gotten from Lily.

After another bite, Harry put down his sandwich and just stared, tired of discretely giving hints. An eyebrow raised, and Severus sighed, putting down his sandwich as well. It was now or never, he supposed. The constant what if's were dancing in his head, and he tried his hardest to push them aside.

"Harry..." he began. How would one start this? "I have recently come to a conclusion, one that concerns the both of us..."

He could see the boy's, whose eyes were once filled with curiosity, suddenly fill with the slightest bit of fear.

"Are you going to send me away?" Harry blurted out. Severus blinked.

"Merlin no, child! No, I would never do that," he said, although at one point he knew he would have without a moment's thought.

"It's something good, or at least, I hope it will be, if you would let it..." Good Merlin, Severus, just spit it out already!

Harry's eyes perked, no longer scared. "Yeah?" he prompted.

Good God, this seemed to be harder than he thought. "If you will let me, or rather, if you will want me, would you be okay with me ado--well, what I mean to say..." Dammit!

"Do you want to be a family? Will you let me adopt you?" he finally rushed out.

It was quiet for a long time. Harry just stared at him, not moving, not blinking, completely immobile. It looked like Severus broke him. Just when Severus began to have doubts and regret his words, a wide smile slowly spread across Harry's face. His eyes brightened, to where they were rivaling Dumbledore's in brilliancy.