I can't help but have all this anger and pain from the past I didn't control. I remember you once being with her still rips me apart like you wouldn't believe. You're mine now so why should it matter? The past had happened and is now gone and yet I still feel pain like it just happened. I hate her. Was she better than me? She must of had something that I didn't. You said she was nothing but you still went back to her? Is there something there that I don't know about? He said he loves me and only me. But I believe there's a lie to that truth. Why do I care? He's mine now so why should it matter? The past can't be undone or be rewritten and yet I want her do die. I hope she ODs on her drugs or finials gets the disease for exposing herself to so many. I want to piss on her grave and laugh that she will finally be gone. Maybe I'll ever show up at her funeral just to prove to her that I'm the only one that will ever have him. He's mine now so why should it matter? She's no where near him or I but the thought of her existence still makes my blood boil. She's nothing. Just a whore. Just a druggie. And yet I still hate her. What's done in the past between him and her cannot be changed. But I wished it was me instead. I wished I was the only one that was there. I missed what I wanted. I missed out on his important evens. But she was there. She must be better than me since she was able to be with him. But he's mine now so why should it matter?
It matters because I wasn't there.
