I walked down the congested hallways at my high school. People seemed to be everywhere coming in all sorts of directions making the hall seem smaller than it really was, and the walls came pounding towards me. I shrank in fear, then realizing it was only my imagination again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and kept walking. Weight pounded down on my shoulders as a guy pushed by me, pulling down on my heavily loaded backpack. I sneered at him, but then quickly stopped not realizing why I had gotten so mad. I rubbed my shoulders and picked up my pace heading towards my classroom.
My name is Ami, and it wasn’t easy being a freshman, and not to mention an older sister and help my mother with everything since my father had died in a car accident two years ago. Life was hard, but I never complained. I loved helping out, most of the time, but at times I’d just get too stressed out and need to sleep, it was tiring trying to be Ami Terrance. I was the shy girl at school, well, I was the anti-social girl at school that sat alone at lunch, I barely had any friends, but I was starting at a new high school with more people than just my middle school, hopefully I’d be able to find someone that’d show the slightest bit of interest in being my friend.
I had originally had light brown hair, you could even call it dirty blonde, but I always dyed it black, and I always wore dark colors. No, I’m not emo, I don’t cut, I get that a lot. I’m not depressed, or sad, or pissed at the world; I just think the look is me. I don’t know what ever got me into this stuff, it’s like it grew on me because years before I would make fun of people like me with my friends at lunch and jut watch them, seeing what they’d do next. But, once you got to know me, you’d know that I was perky and always willing to be a helping hand at any time. But I was always the third wheel when it came to dates and we always seemed to drift away fast. It never worked out, and now all my old friends act like I’m growing eyeballs out my ears.
My mom worked night shift at a diner so I had to watch over my little brother Marco from 5:30 until 1 in the morning. Well I mean, I got my sleep, but I just was in charge of making him dinner and putting him down to bed, and when I knew he was sound asleep I’d go do what I had to do listening in on the baby monitor, until I fell asleep. By that time, we never had any problems, and soon enough my mom would be home. Of course, while I was at school, Marco got all the attention, from mom, and from Aunt Julie, when mom was sleeping. I didn’t mind that much because I liked when I got time to myself, but I never seemed to be able to have a full conversation with my mother without Marco getting some kind of attention. But trust me, you get used to it after awhile.
But, I’m not totally alone, I do have one friend, we are really close when we talk, but it’s not like an everyday thing. His name is Leo, and he lives a few towns away from me. He seems to understand me more than anyone, and he’s always there when I need to talk. He’s like my big brother, everyone needs someone to look after them, you know? I look up to him more than anyone in the world. But he always seems to have his head in the clouds, always thinking about something, whether it’s good or bad, I can tell, his mind is always churning. But he was like no other, and he was my friend, friends forever.
I burst through the door of my math class and sat down right as the bell rang. My teacher gave me the ‘you are so lucky young lady’ look and began to talk. But my thoughts drifted elsewhere, while I mindlessly took notes. Images raced through my mind, the kind of images I used for my paintings. I’m an artist and I depict pictures from my dreams and thoughts, to jot down on paper. Art helped my express who I was, and it helped me understand my dreams better. Some never ever made sense to, some were violent and cruel others were scenery of maybe a garden in the rain, or maybe a meadow glistening in the sunset.
Painting was my passion; it was what I loved doing the most. All of my jeans, I swear have at least one splatter of paint on them, not to mention my black converse weren’t pitch black anymore. At home when I had the time, my hair would be pulled back and I’d be mixing paint or drawing new ideas. The walls of my room were my canvas, and heart was my guide. That was when I let myself go free.
I snapped out of my daze to my teacher slamming her hand on my desk.
“Ami! Are we doodling instead of doing work again? This is the third time this week I have talked to you about this!” I glanced down at my notes to realize I was drawing. I messy looking eye with a tear dripping out of it flowed over the words I had written. I stashed my paper away and apologized to Miss Willow and started re copying the notes.
….
I walked down my street in the pouring rain my back hair clasping to my face, as if it were begging for warmth and dryness. My grey shirt had become a shade darker, and I was so read just to get home and shower and sleep. I had gotten a detention for not paying attention in math and just had had it. Wait, Marco.
I walked into my house to see a whiney 2 year old boy sitting on the floor. Great. It was one of those days that he was tired and didn’t get to rest enough. At least he’ll sleep well.
“Ami, can you get him a bottle? I need to leave early for the diner, Marge got sick and I need to cover the last few hours for her.”
“Yeah.” The door slammed behind her. “My day was good thanks for asking. I got a detention. Do you mind picking me up after school tomorrow? Really? Thank you!” I mimicked and brought Marco to the kitchen to get him a Sippy cup full of milk. I gave it to him but he threw it to the ground with a thud.
“Gosh you’re so annoying sometimes Marco.” He started crying.
After I settled him down I cooked dinner I put him to bed early and went to shower. The heat felt nice on my tense body. As the shower turned on, chills rose to my back, but then instantly glossed over with warmth and relaxation. I closed my eyes, images quickly flashed in my mind. I opened them frightened. Not remembering what I just saw, I sighed and washed myself up, slowly, to let the warmth sink in.
After my shower I went into my room and sat on my bed. I did my one sheet of homework I had then clicked off my lights and shut my eyes. I was exhausted. All I needed was a good night’s rest. Goodnight Ami.
