Faded

0 ; Prologue

         I still remember the day everything fell apart, I remember the pain in my chest, the air being everywhere but not in my lungs. I still remember myself trying as hard as I can to stay standing on both my legs but failing, meeting face to face with the ground, I remember waking up in that small hospital room, I remember trying to sit up only to fail miserably, I remember looking in the eyes of the person I love most, well, almost the most. I remember taking the sight in and realizing what happened, I remember the tears welling up in my eyes, I remember screaming the only word I thought of this momemt.

    "Justin"

    I remember running, and I remember doing the stupidest thing I've ever done.

    I remember everything.

    The worst day of my life, if you put aside for a moment the following 365 days living without the only one who made it all better.

    It's been a year, a whole year living without the person I loved most, love most.

    When you lose the person you love most there are a few things you can do to handle the pain, I'm talking about my specific situation in which I had to stay alive. I couldn't give up my life, and trust me I wanted to. One of the many things people do to handle this kind of pain is just running away. Literally. Move to a new city, meet new people, get a new job. Basically start a blank new page. Do everything in their power to stay away from the memories. Something that I couldn't do.

    The second option is running away mentally. Drugs, alcohol, sex, etc. And how surprising, another thing I couldn't let myself do.

    There's of course a list of miles long full of things humans do to handle this kind of pain. But I'm here to talk about the way I handled mine.

    Redirecting it.

    As someone who lived her whole life surrounded by people who don't know pain, I did the only thing I could without looking weak in front of those curtain people.

    I redirected the pain into the only emotion I could handle that moment.

Rage.

    When I got out of the hospital exactly a year ago I didn't know how I'd continue living my life, turning to the only person I could talk to about the way I feel, my brother, he told me the one thing a person in my situation needed to hear.

    "Do this for him."

    I listened. I did this for him. Only him. I couldn't care less about the fact my father chose me to continue his business and that he would've wanted me to do this job the best way I can. He could've chosen my brother. After all he's older than me.

    I still remember his last words to me. "I chose you for a reason Melissa"

    I prefer thinking he chose me because of the way I can think things through without having my emotions involved and not because I was his favorite child. I'm happy I own this quality. It helps me handle this job.

    I chose telling you about this day because it has a lot of meaning for me, aside from the fact it's a year since I lost the person I loved most in the whole world, it's also the day we caught Eddie Mickelson.

    Who Eddie Mickelson is?

    Now we go a few years back.

    To the day I met Justin Bieber for the first time.

***
im back bitchessssssss
so this was the prologue of faded which i hope yall liked.

leave a comment here and tell me how u feel about it

xoxo eli