Suicidal

Hello everyone! I have started to write this short story, But just incase you didn't get the description, Suicidal is a short story about a girl who is given a chance. A chance to see what would happen if she committed suicide. Guided by herself, she is shown years at a time how her friends, family, and the people around her would react and grow up knowing that she was dead.

Did everyone truly not care?

I stood on the chair, the camera remote in my hand. This was the day. I was really going to do it. I was just so tired of being tired- I was just so tired of being me. The rope was already adjusted and around my neck- it was time to say goodbye. I hit record. The red light was flashing in my eyes, and for a second, I froze. I didn't know what to say. I'm sorry I'm dead? No I'm not. It would all be over- the pain would all be over.

After saying goodbye to my sister, my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my best friend, it was time. 

"I'm so sorry- this was nobody's fault." I uttered, "It was all my fault. Don't blame yourselves. I love you all." And with a tear slipping from my eye, I stared into the blinking red light of the camera and whispered, "goodbye".

I turned the camera off and threw the remote down.

With my hands shaking, a held the rope around my neck and started to burst into tears. I didn't want to kill myself, but I knew it was the only choice. I wanted it all to end.

I didn't want to go through life being bullied every single day for whatever reason I was. The girls in my class always gave me dirty looks. I knew what they thought of me. They called my a try hard. A fake. Nothing. I couldn't do it anymore. Nobody even noticed my pain… nobody even acknowledged the agony I went through everyday trying to fit in and at least be a little bit liked. But nobody cared.

And with that, I let go. I kicked the chair and it was faster than I thought.

A little too fast.

I saw white. Everything was blurry, but then my eyes started to adjust so clear, much like a camera would.

I was standing in a white room. So white, and so bright- it was indescribable. It looked almost impossibly white and beautiful.

I saw somebody while my eyes were coming into focus. They started to walk towards me.

"I'm dead. It's all over." I said, sounding almost relieved. I don't know why I said that, but I did. 

The person walking towards me spoke, but it didn't sound like they were in the room, it sounded like they were speaking in my head.

"Ah," it spoke, "Now that is where you are wrong."

"I'm not dead?" I asked, confused, "Then, where am I?"

"Let's call it a dream." the voice said, "A very realistic dream, indeed. Now, Lacey, I'm going to show you something very, very important. You need to listen to me as I show you, and you need to know that everything I'm about to show you, and everything I say is real."

I was hesitant. I was scared. If I'm not dead, where was I? Who was this person? But instead, I took one deep breath and asked, "What are you going to show me?"

The person came into focus.

And as they did, my eyes widened and I realized- it was me.

I was talking to me.

She simply smiled and said,

"I'm going to show you what would happen if you commit suicide."

My face flushed. I was ghostly pale. I had absolutely no words for the situation. But my mind overcame my feelings and started to speak for itself.

"So, I haven't committed suicide, and this is all a hallucination?" I asked, assuring myself.

'I' nodded.

"And, why are you.. me?" I asked, a bit shaken.

"I've taken the form of someone you recognize, just to assure you that I mean no harm. But, if you feel uncomfortable with it, I can change." they said.

"No," I said, "Just give me something to call you."

They smiled. "My name is Skylar."

"Okay Skylar," I began, "I have one more question… why are you doing this?"

"There are so many tragedies in this world, Lacey." she immediately answered, "Murder, destruction, man slaughter, cancer.. suicide is one of those tragedies. And to think that a human had thought that they had no other way out than to take their own life is devastating. I'm here to show you that you do matter Lacey. I'm here to show you that the people you thought didn't care, actually do."

I took a step back. This was all too real for me to handle. I suddenly became dizzy and my head started to throb. 

"W-what are you saying? I WANTED to kill myself!" I lied, "It was all over! I thought the pain was over, but it's just began! That was MY choice and you took it AWAY from me!"

I slowly started to sink towards the floor, and then I sat down, cupping my face in my hands. Tears were streaming down my face- I was a mess.

"Lacey," Skylar began, "I'm sorry if this has shaken you, or I caught you off guard, but this is for the best. I'm going to show you that everyone in your life really did care."

I sniffed, wiping tears from my cheeks. "But they didn't." I said, "Nobody cared, nobody even took a second look at me." I wiped away another tear escaping from my eye.

I then felt Skylar's had touch my shoulder. Her hands felt warm, and understanding.

"Lacey, I'm telling you the truth. I can't lie to you. Especially seeing what you've been through. I just want to help you. Please, please trust me." she said, her voice soft like silk.

I looked down at my shaking hands, and down at my feet. I never realized that I was wearing exactly what I had on when I thought I had committed suicide. My old, purple converse, a white knitted sweater, ripped up shorts, and one of my dad's t-shirts. 

I lifted my head and looked up at Skylar, who looked exactly like me still, except happy and glowing. She was wearing an all creamy white, beautiful, long, silky dress. And her hair was like mine, except it looked unbelievably shiny and smooth. The soft waves in her hair started from her roots, and came to a delicate curl at the bottom.

I trusted her. She had a sort of innocence to her, and unlike anybody on Earth, she seemed to understand me. "I trust you." I whispered.

She reached her arm out towards me, and I took it. She helped me stand up, and then again, she placed one hand on my shoulder. We started walking. I don't no where because the room we were in looked endless- pure, gorgeous, white, and if you looked beyond you, a light stretched in the distance- like if you're looking at the light at the end of a tunnel.

"Are you ready?" Skylar asked me.

I nodded. "I'm ready." I said.

"Okay." Skylar responded. "Now, first, I'm going to show you the day that you committed suicide."

I blinked. And in less than an instant, we were there.