Monday, 2
I had been doing so well. For weeks I hadn't even wanted to write another letter. Then yesterday I spent the entire day in bed reading sad quotes and poems online. I found the perfect one for my current state of distress, "Though I saw it coming, it still hurts." Profound, huh? I know it isn't all that much, really. But it's more coherent than anything I could have come up with after that Halloween party. I figured, it's just Halloween, not a "major" holiday. It shouldn't be too hard to get past... But I didn't expect to see you there. With her. I didn't even realize you were back in town already. I thought you'd be gone longer. But no. Of course not. Of course the first night I go out and try to have a good time, I see you there. With her. You know what really sucks, though? I can't even hate her. If she'd had some cheap, slutty costume, I could have mustered up some animosity. But she was dressed as a goddamn ninja turtle. Who could hate that? It was adorable. You dressed as Splinter... Can you feel the metaphor? Because I'm not gonna spell it out. I left the party after I saw you guys there, though. I didn't want to risk having to make conversation or awkwardly ignore you all night. So I ran. But honestly, I knew you were going to move on. It's not like I was expecting you to be alone forever. I just wasn't ready to see you with anyone else. Or even to see you at all, really. These past few weeks have been easier, only because I've kept myself busy and distracted. But it's still hard not to think about you. So many things remind me of you. Songs, or particular lyrics, especially. And that's the hardest part. Going about my day, and doing okay, until something unexpected comes up that reminds me of you. And I still reach for my phone to tell you about it before I remember that I can't. Yeah, that's the hardest part.
