1. Grimmace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut UP!"
2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, peer inside, and whisper, "Got enough air in there?"
3. Offer nametags to everyone in the elevator.
4. Wear yours upside-down.
5. Grin at another passengar for a while. When they're looking at you like you're some kind of idiot, announce, "I've got new socks on today!"
6. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan and say, "Oh, not now! Damn motion sickness!"
7. Meow occasionally.
8. Bet the other passengars you can fit a quarter in your nose.
9. Offer to push the buttons for people, and then purposely push the wrong ones.
10. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.
11. Start a sing-along.
12. Draw a square on the floor in chalk and announce to the other passengars that this is your "personal space."
13. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, withough getting off.
14. Scratch your head excessively and mutter, "Stupid headlice! I knew I shouldn't have played with that stray dog!"
15. Set up a picnic on the floor and invite other passengars to join you.
16. Pretend you're a repair man here to fix the lift. Once it's good and crowded, insist that everyone get out. Then say, "Teehee! Gotcha!" and run.
17. Say you have just won the lottery and are on your way to collect your winnings. See how many people are listening to you.
18. As the elevator descends, shout, "Bombs away!"
19. When the doors close, announce very calmly, "It's okay, nobody panic. They open back up again."
20. Offer to polish people's shoes. When they say no, tell them you need the money to feed your ten starving children in Estonia.
21. Hand out leaflets: "What To Do When The Lift Cable Breaks."
22. Set up a game of Twister on the floor.
23. Secretly push the stop button. Then loudly complain, "Great. 20 years in prison for murdering my family and I get stuck in an elevator two hours after I get out."
24. Wear a headset and pretend to be the Pilot. Say, "This is Lift #1 ready for descent to 1st floor. Waiting for permission to depart, over."
25. Teach the people French. Don't let them leave until they get it right.
26. Insist that the ride costs $2.50.
27. As you come to the end of your journey, get emotional and have a group hug.Say you will never forget them.
28. As each person gets on, ask, "Do you have an appointment?"
29. Bring out a magnifying glass, inspect the other passenger's skin, and say, "Ooh, look at your pores!"
30. Explain your ideas of world domination to the wall.
31. While the doors are opening, whisper, "Hide it, quick!" Then whistle conspicuously.
32. Tell people their clothes are stuck in the door.
33. When they look around and see that their clothes aren't stuck in the door, apologize. 5 minutes later, repeat #32 in the exact same tone of voice.
34. Call the Psychic Hotline and ask if they know which floor you're on.
35. Pretend to see a spider. Stomp repeatedly on the floor, screaming, "DIE, BASTARD! DIE!"
36. Ask people which floor they want, then ask in a Who-Wants-To-Be-A-Millionaire voice if that is their final answer.
37. Wave your hands wildly at the invisible flies above your head.
38. Hum the first seven notes of "It's A Small World" over and over and over and over and over. . . .
39. Press the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
40. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
41. Stand very close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
42. Drop a pen. Wait for someone to pick it up, and then scream, "THAT'S MINE!"
43. Stare at someone for a few minutes, and then back away slowly and say, "You're one of THEM!"
44. Yell, "TICKLE FIGHT!"
45....Enforce it.
