Promises to Keep

Chapter 10: Contemplating Loss

Had he made a terrible mistake by telling Will the truth?

Hannibal had no doubt that Will would be more conflicted over this than he'd ever been about anything. He wasn't altogether sure that Will would keep his secret.

What would he do if his young lover turned him in to the authorities? They would have no concrete proof; all they would have was Will's assertion of what had been said, nothing more. They certainly couldn't send him to jail on nothing but an accusation.

But that wasn't what he wanted. He wanted his relationship with Will to move forward, with no secrets, and no evasions. He wanted them to be together.

If Will turned him in, then that couldn't happen.

He would have to dispose of Will if his lover was so foolish as to make accusations against him. At some point, someone would want to prove those accusations true.

Hannibal didn't know who would be so stupid as to come looking for him, but he was sure that someone would. Possibly Jack Crawford, with that insatiable curiosity of his. But if not Jack, then someone would. That was a foregone conclusion.

If Will made those accusations, he would have to be quieted. And there was no way to do that but to kill him, though it was the last thing that Hannibal wanted.

Doing away with Will would destroy something within him. He had only recently realized that he was in love; losing Will would destroy that part of him for good.

He had told Will his deepest, darkest secret in a moment of weakness. Now, he would have to trust that Will would keep that secret, even if he could never accept it. And he would have to trust that his lover had enough of a self-preservation instinct to think things through.

Will had to know that if he made any rash accusations, his life would be in danger. He had to know that Hannibal couldn't afford to let him become a weakness.

So far, no police had shown up at his door.

Hannibal hoped that they wouldn't; he didn't want to have to contemplate the loss of his lover. He would be devastated if he had to get rid of Will.

If he no longer had that light in his life, there would be a great deal missing from every day -- and the long nights alone would be almost unbearable. He could take other lovers, but no one would ever be to him what Will had been. No one ever could be.

Perhaps he had let Will become too much of a weakness, and the young man would be his downfall. But he hoped that scenario wouldn't come to pass.

Still, if it did .... he would be ready to do what he had to do.

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