True Life

Introduction

I've never really felt the need to say these things, but they've never held me back like I feel they do now.

So let me begin. My name is Arianna. That's always been my name, and it has always represented me. Quirky, a bit weird, but something you can get used to. It has always been mispronounced and misspelled, but I didn't let it bother me. I've never let a lot of things bother me. Including the fact that my father has never been present in my life.

When I was younger I didn't let the other children's questions annoy me. They couldn't understand. They all had loving parents and a happy home.

"Why don't you have a daddy to bring to the father's day picnic?"

"I just don't." I did not know, but I never questioned it. Oh, how I wish I had. The kids would all laugh it off but my teachers always gave me this look, like I was worth less. I thought I was worthless too, with only a Mommy. A Mommy who never came to things but protested that she was always there for me.

She gave birth to me when she was newly 20. That sounds ok, but to me it just feels so wrong. She had just graduated high school the year before! And he was 27. I know that now, and he seems sleazy to me. It's so wrong to think about your parents like that, I know, but how desperate can you truly be?

Where did they even meet? In a sleazy bar? In an alleyway somewhere with roaches and rats? How worthless could their relationship have been if he wasn't there for me? I thought like that for a while, but then I grew up a bit with her as a single mother, living off her parent's income. I realized how messed up my life truly was.