The Wallflower's Secret

Chapter 1

This is my life, sitting alone in the corners, being the schools wallflower. Every day I get up and do the same thing, watch everyone else’s life blossom whilst mine slowly wilts. I often ask myself why life is worth living. I often ask myself if I should end it all but when I remember my brother’s face I almost immediately chase those horrid thoughts from my head. If you’re one of the many people who do not know my name, I’m Helena Jacobs- the nobody in the corner. I suggest not wasting your time with me since nobody else does. Don’t pity me because I don’t deserve it. Don’t smile at me because I probably won’t smile back. It’s nothing personal. Your life is better off without having someone like me in it.

You might ask what a nobody like me is doing in a prestigious school such as Dalton Academy but it’s simple really, my family can’t bear the sight of me so they pack me off to boarding school. Of course, it’s a rich boarding school. My family are to snobby to place me in a public school. They thrive on attention from other snobs, always wanting to look good. I’m not like them so they send me here. Truth be told I’m happier here.  I don’t have haunting reminders of my painful childhood.

I’m sixteen and friendless, with a family that doesn’t care. It might sound depressing but it’s the way I like it; I learnt the hard way not to put my trust in people because I’m the only one who gets hurt when it’s broken. If people knew me they would realise I’m not the freak they think I am. They would see that deep down I’m a young person who has nobody that understands her. There are the things that no one knows about me like how I love to express myself through music, whether its singing, dancing or playing the guitar. But do people see this side of me? No. It’s the side I never allow to be seen because when you open your heart you open yourself to vulnerability.

Right now I’m on a free period and am on the school roof watching the football team play. Before you ask, I’m not one of those creepy girls who hang around gawping at the guys with six packs. I just enjoy the solitude of the roof. The way the breeze gently whips through my hair makes me feel calm and ready for everything. If only I could bottle it up and use it when I need to be brave. But like many things in life, it is impossible. I’m staring out watching the cheerleaders bat their mascaraed eyelashes and pouting whilst checking their reflections.

I used to play with one or two of them when I was a child, now I can see how different our worlds have become. I prefer a pair of jeans and tatty converse whilst they strut down the polished halls with Louis Vuitton handbags and Prada heels. They are the talk of the school and I’m the girl in the corner. Nobody knows my name, and that’s the way I like it. I shake my head at my idiotic comparisons and look around the playing felids. I love watching how all the different cliques interact they range from: the sport-a-holics to the geeks. And of course no school would be complete without the populars, a group made up of players and cheerleaders. They are the people who practically rule the school. Then there’s Dan Davidson.

The last one surprised me. I’ve seen the guy around and heard the rumours about his bad reputation but I never expected to see him alone. Then again I shouldn’t judge I know how being prejudged hurts. As if sensing my eyes on him he raised his head and met my eyes. It’s a good thing I'm sitting on the roof otherwise I’m pretty sure my knees would have buckled underneath me. Whenever someone looks at me I always look away, but his sapphire-blue eyes made me feel like I was floating on gentle waves on an exotic beach.

He blinked twice, glared at me and stomped towards the school entrance but just as he was about to slam the door the glanced back at the roof. He looked back into my eyes. His brows knitted tight and lips pursed together as if he were trying to solve a difficult puzzle. He shook his head and slammed the door as he charged through the school hallway. I frowned wondering why his harsh glare tugged at my un-fixable heart.