How To Survive The Zombie Apacolypse 101

Introduction

As many of you already know Zombies (or more formally The Undead) have become a huge pop-culture icon due to shows, movies, and video games such as; The Walking Dead, Zombieland, Shaun of The Dead, Dead Rising, Dead Island, Call of Duty Zombies, etc. in fact they have gotten so much media attention that the U.S. military has even started preparing, but could it actually happen? Could a zombie apacolypse infect the world? Well its certainly possible with; brain parasites, nanobots, a mutated strain of the mad cow disease even! Well in the event a bunch of flesh eating, reanimated corpses start eating your buddies, this book should help you to survive. (for a bit longer) in this book i'll cover; scavenging supplies, dealing with looters, weapons for destroying the infected, diffrent types of zombies, and of course, SURVIVAL.

Chapter one: Zombies, a brief history

Zombies have been around since before time... Ok maybe not TECHNICALLY but still. You can find zombies in stories and legends all over the world at any time. Specifically lately, you've all heard of the Miami highway zombie attack that was caused by "an overdose on LSD." Well true or not im not taking any chances. The concept of "Zombiism" comes from old Haitian foklore dated back to before Christ. The Arawak (first indian tribe to inhabit Haiti) word (zombi) means "spirit of the dead." Traditionally if a family member annoyed or brought dishonour to his family the town would call upon a voodoo doctor to "zombifiy" the person, which would essentially just vegetabalize them, they wouldnt be able to; walk, talk, eat, or move in general. Because of the zombification the zombies soul would never be put to rest and spend an eternity in pergatory. Modern zombies are usually the after unwelcomed sude effect of something, from the cure to Cancer (I am Legend) to a spoiled hamburger (Zombieland.) A real life outbreak would most likely be caused by a bio-chemical terrorist attack, a brain infecting parasite, or an altered strain of The Mad Cow disease.

Chapter Two: The post-apacolyptic world

If you find yourself a year in the future buying a box or .45 pistol rounds off a group of looters i highly doubt theyll ask you the question "cash or credit?" Post-apacolyptic currency will most likely still be the Dollar, the deniro, benjamins, dough, or just cold hard cash. So next time you kill a zombie, make sure to check its pockets. Smashing into an ATM to steal cash probably isnt the most ethical thing to do but it sure as hell would be fun. But anyways a wallet isnt the only thing you should be checking for on a zombie, gold, jewellery, and cel phones may still have value. However before even going relatively close to a zombie MAKE SURE ITS DEAD! The safest way to search a zombies body would be to remove the hands and head from the rest of the body. Remove any wedding rings or bracelets from the hands then discard them (well cover discarding zombie bodies in another chapter) than check the pockets of the zombie but if possible id reccomend removing the feet and just pulling the pants off of the zombie. Its weird and kind of creepy i know but better safe than sorry, plus if the zombie has a nice pair of Nikes than everybody wins right? Despite what everybody says gold fillings in zombies teeth are not worth geting, yes its gold but i wouldnt risk my life for $60 worth of old, i wouldnt stick my hand in a zombies mouth for a million. If you get in the habbit of searching every zombie you kill (after all the action of course) you should be the Bill Gates of the apacolypse. Looting, robberies, killings, and rape would all be common events in an apacolypse, no law enforcement? Who gives a shit everythings legal now! Its EXTREMELY important to defend yourself against zombies and human attackers (well cover weapons in another chapter) if and when the world goes to hell in a fiery infected mess buying a can of beans or a box of 9mm's off of a gang of theives, paying in wedding rings and iphones might not be preferred, but its a reality. Try and avoid all contact with looters and theives, they cant be trusted and most likely wont sell you anything good anyways. In almost every zombie movie ever theres no power, no gas, and no water. Well electricity could certainly go out and gas would be in high demand but water supply is much more mechanical and takes less human effort to operate, so fill up your bathtubs, sinks, tupperwares, empty pop bottles, everything while you can because once waters gone its going to be worth its weight in gold.