Matches: Why We Burned Out

eighteen // why we burned out

It's been three days since Romeo and I decided to be friends again. I'm too scared to look him in the eye though, I always feel as though I'd make things awkward. We're baking a cake for Martin's birthday. Sometimes his hand would graze mine and my skin would burn. I always blush and stare at my hands.

"How many eggs?" he asks me, opening the egg box. His sleeves are rolled up above his elbows which just improves his look by a milestone. There's a little bit of flour in his hair and on the tip of his nose. He looks so cute.

"Um, three eggs," I stutter, feeling overwhelmed and nervous. I tuck my hair behind my ear to look cute too. I'll do anything to make him realise how big a mistake he made. He cracks the eggs into the bowl, except for the one he accidentally drops on the floor. We both bend down to clear it up. His hand touches mine again and I quickly snatch it away.

"Mia, stop freaking out, okay?" He sounds slightly annoyed. He licks his lips and stares intensely at me. I look at anything and everything except him. "You haven't looked me in the eye for like a week. Come on, petal, you're making this 'being friends' thing really hard for me."

I frown at his comment. "This is hard for you? Let's not forget that you dumped me. It's harder for me than it is for you, so suck it up," I bark angrily, washing my hands in the sink. I hear him sigh.

"You're right. I'm sorry," he mumbles and he puts the broken egg shells in the bin. I don't say anything for a while. I want him to leave, he's made me uncomfortable the whole time he's been here. "I forget that you think our break up was your fault."

I've told him a few times that it feels like the reason we broke up was because I wasn't as fulfilling as he'd perhaps have wanted me to be. He made me feel like I was unattractive when he told me he wanted to end things.

Then the boy goes rummaging through the drawers and cupboards in the kitchen until he finds what he was looking for. He brings out a box of matches, and strikes one against the side of the box. "Watch this," he says calmly.

"Whoa what are you doing?" I question in a panic.

"I'm just trying to--"

"Please don't burn the house down," I beg. Romeo blows out the fire and sighs.

"I was just trying to create a beautiful moment, okay?"

"Oh. Sorry."

He lights another match and waits for it to burn down a little. "This is the perfect match. It's doing great, right? Burning and stuff. It's wonderful. But even the perfect match," he waits for the fire to consume the wood completely and disappear into ashes, "has to burn out. I think that works with people too. There's always going to be one day where things just stop functioning, and there's nothing we can do about it. And it's nobody's fault but time's. We were the perfect match. We didn't have the perfect timing."

For the first time in a while, I look up into his eyes thoughtfully. A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. "I guess that sort of makes sense," I say softly. Romeo takes both of my hands in his.

"And maybe with the right timing, we could be a match that never burns out," he continues, biting his lip. I force a smile and let go of his hands, returning to the baking as we planned. I add the final egg to the mixture and pour in the milk. I can feel Romeo's eyes burning into my back. As I begin stirring the cake mix, Romeo snakes his arms around my waist and rests his chin on my shoulder. His hot breath tickles my neck.

For a moment, I appreciate the way his body feels against mine, the way the butterflies awaken in my stomach, the way our breathing syncs. Then I push him off me. My eyes water slightly. "You don't get to treat me like this, I won't let you," I say, my voice wobbling.

He looks genuinely confused, so I elaborate.

"You don't get to break up with me, tell me we're 'just friends' and then touch me as if we're still together," I continue, trying to blink my tears away. The boy tries to take a step towards me. I back away. "You either take me back or leave me alone and never touch me again."

He tries to reason with me. "Mia..."

"No, Romeo. I'm not letting you treat me like this." I aggressively stomp towards the front door and open it for him, sucking in my cheeks to calm me down. Instead of walking out of the door, he kisses my lips. This is the most gentle kiss we've ever shared. His hands hold my cheeks, and our bodies are pressed against each other's. His tongue runs along my lips, begging for entrance, which I stupidly grant. He kisses me passionately, his head moving as he does so. His lips feel so tender and soft on mine, which makes me reluctant to break the kiss. I want to kiss him forever, but I pull away instead. "What are you doing?" My voice is quiet.

"It was a closure kiss. We both needed it," he answers. He runs his fingers through his hair and kisses my cheek as he disappears off down the street. My heart beats at a rapid pace. I watch him until I cannot physically see him anymore.

I wish the damn boy would just take me back.

***

DEDICATING THIS CHAPTER TO MY BAES ItsKaytyainii (check out her book 'His Sunshine') and sofiya-m !! THESE GUYS R MY MEGA BAES AND HAVE SUPPORTED ME THE WHOLE WAY THROUGH THIS STORY. New story soon! I'm so excited to share it with you guys!! AHHHH!!

— sarah xoxoxoxoxoxox