dear self,
i wish someone wouldve told you before everything, that nothing was perfect. i wish someone wouldve warned you that life is nothing but self hate and doubt more then anything else. i remember when the twins were born, and thats when it all started. you isolated yourself, and your parents didnt notice. you rebelled, ran away a few times, did some shit you shouldnt have. over the years a strong hate developed for yourself. you torn the perfect skin you had because someone had to push you farther to the end each time. of course you couldnt see the people that loved you, cause you grew up with no one but yourself. you grew up thinking 'if they dont care about me, why should i care for myself'. you let yourself go,
now youre at your lowest. the only time you smile is to tell people youre okay. the only time when you really laugh is when people compliment you, cause you know it isnt true. it hurts, because you remember when you were happy, but it was so long back that the memories fade and the only time you remember being happy was when you were an only child, when you had your parents, when you didnt need anyone else to make you happy.
im sorry that you hate yourself so much, i wish i could change it and make it better. im sorry that i cant.
from,
you
