I've always thought to myself why do people like other people? i don't understand why people can be so rude and can manipulate but still can forgive. why do we fight other countries in war if we just become allies. That's the same way with friends you have so many friends you forget to invite one to a party and guess what happens all the people at your party hate you forever.
No one understands me not even my mother, and it has been like this for a while now. I guess nobody wants me anymore. No one cares about me. God who am I kidding! I need to rethink what i'm putting myself into .
I walk to school with my lunch my mom made for me.
When i get to school i sit right in my desk. I'm so concentrated in my book i finally realize that class has started, bummer i was in the middle of a good part to. Then he walks in, him, I don't know who it is, but i swear i've met him before. We make eye contact just for a second and in that second he smiles a beautiful smile I don't think anyone has smiled at me like that before. But then again no one has ever looked at me twice. I thought to myself what a douche. Right when i was about to say that out loud every girl in the classroom ran to the door and start hugging him and kissing his hands like he was some kind of prince or something. just as i thought a douche.
I decided to eat lunch outside today instead of inside I liked being outside. Being outside never hurt me it made me feel like i could do anything, the feeling of the cool spring winds, the elementary children yelling and screaming, and the birds chirping just all ties together and makes you want to fly away. I've always liked it outside ever since i was just a little runt. I sat on the bench looking at my sandwich, ham and cheese again. I've had the same thing for 2 months now.
I start thinking about my family and how much i just want it to be normal. My father left my mom when the doctor said its going to be a beutiful baby girl. i swear the only thing my father likes are men to be honest i think hes gay the only reason he fucked my mom is because he wanted to make more men. the only thing he took with him was my brother obviously. i've never met my brother. i just feel bad for my mom because she was so heart broken. when my father left he left my mother to rot. He didn't leave any cash no nothen. so my mom and i lived with my grandma the first 5 years of my life. until we found a house that could fit us both. of course it wasn't a perfect mansion kind of house but it's alright. we moved into a house that perfectly fit us both. at first my grandma didn't think it was a good idea because it was in the south side of our town. (you know where the sketchy people live). but i learned to love it its my home.
