If They Knew

Chapter 1

"They think you're crazy
They think you're mad
They call you stupid, worthless,

Tell you you're not worth it."

Russia's POV:

The meeting hall fell silent as I entered the room. The other nations looked at me fearfully, sitting as far away from me as possible around the large oak table. I felt a sharp pang in my chest when my gaze fell on Latvia and he whimpered. I tried to smile at him, a real smile, but that just made him move even farther away. Sighing, I rested my chin in my right hand. The others quickly went back to their usual bickering and fighting. I got to my feet, staring at the others.

"We're here for a reason, da? Now stop fighting and get on with it!" I said, my face plastered with my usual fake smile. Germany nodded and stood up shakily, his eyes darting from me to the table. Sitting back down, I folded my arms across my chest and waited for the meeting to begin. Germany cleared his throat.

"Shall we begin?" Seeing the other nations nod in agreement, he pulled out a stack of papers. "Alright, the first presenter is...is..." Germany's face paled and he looked at me. Beaming, I jumped to my feet and pounded to the front of the room. It had been so long since I was allowed to speak! Germany quickly took his seat to get out of my way.

"Today I'd like to talk about-" My voice trailed off as I saw the nations whisper among themselves.

'Why do I even bother? They all think I'm crazy, anyways. They'll never listen to what I say. They never have,' I thought sadly. But, I cleared my throat and began again.

"I'd like to address the issue of ISIS' attacks on various places in the world. I myself don't have many ideas, but I thought we would solve it together, da?" I finished. France looked up at me angrily, slowly getting to his feet. The others glared at me loathingly. What had I done wrong now?!

"Do you really think any of us will trust you? After everything you've done? For all we know, you're working right along side with ISIS!" France snarled, his knuckles white as he gripped the table tightly. My eyes narrowed and I walked up to the distraught nation.

"Never," I snapped back, my face only inches apart from the Frenchman. His nose wrinkled as if he'd caught a whiff of something bad.

"You're downright worthless, you know that? You can't do anything right. All you care about is violence, bloodshed, and making yourself more powerful than all of us. You're so stupid, Ivan!" he said with a smug look on his face. Cocking my head slightly, I fought back tears. This wasn't the first time a nation had insulted me, but France's words still cut through me like a knife. turned away and headed towards the meeting hall doors. I couldn't take it anymore! I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Canada looking up at me worriedly.

"Russia, you don't need to leave. Papa Francis doesn't know what he's saying," Canada said in his usually quiet voice. I opened my mouth to reply when America interrupted us.

"Don't waste your breath, Matthew. He isn't worth it," America said smugly. The Baltics snickered slightly, looking at me without sympathy. America was right, as much as it pained me to say. I wasn't worth anything. I was worthless, a monster, The Baltics and how I treated them were proof of that. I exited the meeting hall and slammed the doors behind me.