What Happens in Clarketown

6

(Sexual dialog warning)

The day goes by extremely quickly. Ben and I don't share a final class, so I search rapidly for him when the bell rings. I wait by his locker until I see him down the hallway.

I walk toward him quickly. He doesn't notice me at first, and his expression is terrified.

"It's going to be fine." I say to him. He just stares at the floor.

On the bus ride home, Ben only stares at his shaky hands. He tics several times per minute, which concerns me. He begins to bring his elbows behind him a lot.

The bus pulls up to our stop. "Home!" Ben blurts out, shaking his head. He's nervous, scared, terrified.

I take his hand gently. He pulls his elbows back again, so I let go, but he grabs it back.

Rachel and Rosey run ahead of us. "I'm going to Ben's for a while." I tell after them as they open the door of the building. Rachel gives a thumbs up as they go inside.

Ben and I stop at the door. He turns toward me. I take his other hand. "It's going to be fine. I'm going to be there with you." I try to assure him. Tears begin to form in his eyes as he squeaks twice.

We walk in the door. Craig is in the office, but the door is open, and he isn't on the phone, which means he'll see us walk by. Ben sniffles then squeaks.

Craig pokes his head out the door. Ben takes a step backward and tics. "Ballsack!"

Craig walks toward us. "Let's go home and talk." He says to Ben. I can feel his palms sweating and his body trembling, but he walks toward his apartment's door. I follow tentatively, and Craig says nothing.

Ben and I sit on the couch and Craig takes an arm chair. He begins with a deep sigh.

"I'm not mad." He says. Ben looks up at him. "I shouldn't have been upset that you are who you are, and I shouldn't have been upset that you found someone that makes you happy." Ben's hand tightens around mine. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have tried to hit you. I shouldn't have ever hit you." He pauses to close his eyes. A tear runs down his cheek. "I guess there's a lot of things that I shouldn't have done."

Ben inhales as if he's going to say something, but he doesn't. He brings his elbows back again.

"Is that a new one?" Craig asks quietly. Ben nods. It's a new tic.

"So y-y-y-y-you're okay with Xander and me?" Ben asks quietly.

Craig nods. "I'm more than happy that he's here." He turns to me. "Since you moved in, Ben's grades have gone up, he's being kicked out of class less, he's participating in things, and he smiles more. He's doing so much better than he was, and I believe that's because of you."

I grow emotional. I try to hold the tears back, but I can tell they're noticeable. "I care about Ben... a lot." I say, choked. "I promise I'll do everything I can to protect him, to make sure he's okay." I wrap my arm around Ben. He leans into me gently. "I would never do anything that could hurt him. I'd be breaking my own heart if I broke his." The words spill out clumsily.

"I'm glad to hear that, Xander," Craig smiles. He turns to Ben, "and I'm glad that you've let him in." Ben smiles sweetly and wraps his arm around my stomach. I kiss the top of his head. He sniffles twice.

"I am too." I say with a smile. Craig chuckles.

"And you don't have to worry." Ben says softly. "I trust Xander."

"As do I." Craig smiles.

•••

Ben and I refuse to let a day go by without seeing each other. He begins to feel more and more comfortable with PDA around his dad, and I've gotten more and more intrigued by him. His vocal tic when he's nervous has slowly begun to disappear. It's replaced by one he named "stretching" when he brings his elbows back. He only does it around Craig and at school.