I Should Not Love You...

"how far is St. Mary's hostel?" i asked the the random person on the bus stop.i have been walking for 3 hours now. seriously tired. " a walk of 30 more minutes and you'll reach there" he said .not even looking at me and still reading his newspaper. 30 more min's walk... WALK....no way..!! "isn't there any bus route?"  i asked hoping for a yes. "no.you got to walk." he said still not looking at me. just great !! i can't walk anymore now . i guess i'll just call at the hostel and say them to send me a car and pick me up.but just a last try."do you have any short cut?" i asked praying for a yes this time. "short cut " he said finally looking at me from the corner of his eye."yea there is a short cut through the jungle .from there you'll reach the hostel in 10 minutes." great !!! i was feeling so happy to hear that . "but" he added looking more serious than before "be careful" ."ohh don't worry  the animals wouldn't hurt me" i said."animals!" he started laughing ."what if there are more than animals there?" "more than animal..like humans..??"i said . "more than that. just be careful and don't get lost in the jungle its too dangerous.people who go in that jungle are believed to get disappeared and are never seen again". is he trying to scare me? well if yes .he got to try harder."don't worry. i'll be alright" "i hope so too" he said smiling this time. i started to walk towards the jungle while i was walk i heard him say a prayer for me. why would he do that? what is there in the jungle that he is soo tensed? he is just making me curious. as i walk in the jungle the wind starts to blow harder than before. i guess its a wind storm. they are common in this part. landslides,wind storm,earthquake etc are common in Mingleford. Mingle ford...that's where i am gonna live for another 4 years now till my high school finishes an i'm thinking to live here after my school finishes too. its so cold here and the fog is just make it worse. "i miss you mom" i talk to myself as i am really missing her soo much. Mingle ford was  the place where my mom first met my dad. dad is he even worth me calling that. well i just don't want to start it over again. i don't want to think about it anymore . i'll just concentrate on my future now.past can no longer worry me. "wait am i not seeing that tree the 3rd time" i talk to myself "great you are lost Josephine...completely lost".what do i do now? where do i go? i got to get out of here but how do i.i start looking in all the direction as if the way will pop out in front of me.suddenly i feel someone standing behind me .as soon as i am about to turn back and see who was it something hit me in my head. i start to feel dizzy and then everything around me turns foggy and i fall down on the dry leaves fallen from the trees. i feel nothing at all. suddenly after some time when i try to open my eyes, with my eyes half open i can see half a face of a guy honestly only his blue eyes...shining as crystals..i can feel his muscles ... he has lifted me in his arms and was helping me..i don't want him to ever leave me..i want to stay in his arms forever..i don't know where this feeling came form...its like my loneliness and sadness had gone away with his touch..i was happy. i never felt like this before...like i always wanted my arms to be rapped around his neck...as if my body always wanted to be lifted by his arms but before i could open my eyes completely dizziness takes over again and i close my eyes again. after sometime when i was ready to open my eyes...i slowly opened them..i was no longer in his arms i was lying on the dry leaves ...i felt all that happiness go way again..like i was in the darkness again..like the light left me when his touch was gone..i suddenly felt all my loneliness and all my sadness hit me again. i saw him leave in the fog of the jungle again i saw a tattoo of a bird on his shoulder . i wanted to run to him and stop him to go away but my body was too weak to get up and catch him. i was forcing my body to get up.but it didn't i didn't wanted him to leave me.suddenly again dizziness took over again.....and i lie on the edge of the jungle on the leaves ....

                                                                                                      i wake up after sometime time, i force my body to get up still shaking and feeling like a drunk feels when he has hangover. i look around to see where exactly i was.it was late at night so i had to rush to the hostel. i looked at my left and i could see the road clearly.i started walking towards it. and soon after that i was on the main road i was exhausted,i had no idea which way to go. so i just took the left turn . ~where fate takes me~ and finally i saw the sign board of 'St. Mary's hostel'.finally !! i go to the door and knock on it desperately for someone to come out. then finally a lady came and opened the door.she was in her mid 40's .wearing jeans with a tank top. blonde hairs tied up in a braid. "finally" she signed with appeasement."where have you been?" "i...i was coming ...and then some hit..and and" before i could complete she said "ohh my you got scar's on ur arms !" she said little worried. i looked at them. i could see some scar's but they didn't hurt me.maybe because the pain in my head or the pain of getting separated form that guy was bigger then these scar's. she took me in. she allayed my scar's and showed me my room. i wanted to have a shower before i sleep but she insisted me to sleep. so i just went to my room which she showed me n without changing my clothes i sprang on the bed.