(A/N: Just a warning, this will probably be a short chapter and i'll probably be updating again later today because i want to get to the good stuff OHHH and yeah obviously the gif above is Jensen/ Dean but pretend its Ricky flipping shit okay thank you ENJOY and don' t forget to comment and stuff)
Music: Hospital (by Sounds Like Harmony)
*Ricky's POV*
After Ryan's shower, we got him dressed in a clean hospital gown and settled him back into his hospital bed since the nurses didn't want him walking around too much. It didn't take him long to admit his exhaustion and go to sleep moments later.
I shoved my fingers through my knotted hair so that it was pushed out of my face which probably wasn't such a pleasant sight. I looked at myself in the foggy mirror that hung securely on the murky green bathroom walls and wasn't surprised at the corpse-looking boy looking back at me. I had grown thin, my jaw line and cheek bones more prominent than before, and the underneaths of my eyes were sagging with dark bags. I looked terrible, but that's kind of what happens when your husband goes into the hospital and nearly dies and then doesn't remember you afterwards. And no matter how hard i pretended not to notice, i knew deep inside of me that Ryan still wasn't doing well. I turn my cheek away every time he wipes the blood from his mouth from coughing too hard at night, i walk out of the room every time he calls a nurse for more morphine because his pain is too unbearable. But i know what's going on and i can't take it for much longer.
"Ricky, we got you food." Josh said so that i could hear him when he walked into the room, followed by Chris and Ghost who both held plates of food from the cafeteria. Although my stomach growled and i felt the baby kick, i didn't feel hungry at all. I glanced at myself in the mirror one last time with a sorrowful look before walking out into the blinding lights.
"I'm not hungry." I muttered, looking over the food and feeling repulsed, like i was going to throw up.
"You have to eat, you haven't eaten since two days ago." Chris almost snapped at me but then looked at me sympathetically. I didn't need their sympathy, it would do me no good, but at least i know they care about Ryan and I.
"I-uh- i ate this morning." That was a lie. I know i didn't eat and if i did, it wasn't very much, I felt bad for trying to deceive them, but it was for the best. Or at least that's what i thought.
"Oh, yeah, what did you eat?" I felt small under Chris's scrutiny.
"Pancakes..." I said the first thing that came to mind.
"That's bull shit and you know it, Ricky." his voice went harsh and rigid like he was going to snarl at me, and i shrunk back from him slightly. He put his plate on the table next to me and stepped closer.
"Chris, stop." Ghost pleaded, putting his hand on Chris's shoulder but that didn't stop Chris.
"No, look!" Before i even knew what he was doing Chris had yanked up my shirt revealing my pregnant stomach and exposed ribs that were seen clearly through my skin because i was so thin. "I'm sorry if i sound cruel but we're all upset, Ricky! It's not just you so get your shit together. You have to eat or your baby is going to die and i know that sounds horrible but that's reality." I was at a loss for words and the tension in the room was palpable. He was right.
I did eat a small bit after that, staying as far away from Chris as possible because i feared another out burst. A little while later, they left to go home and get some sleep. Yeah, they offered for me to come home with them because i hadn't slept in forever, but obviously i refused. I was left sitting in the dark hospital room just watching over Ryan who slept effortlessly. Well, maybe "effortlessly" isn't the exact word i should use because with every breath he took, he wheezed shivered. I didn't realize i was crying softly until a tear swam over my pale cheeks and landed on my hand that i held in my lap.
Reaching over the thick plastic railing on the hospital bed, i took Ryan's hand in mine while he continued to sleep. I guess he felt me do this because his face twisted slightly (though his eyes were closed) and he whimpered somewhere deep in his throat. I placed a soft kiss on his hand and tried to stop my own convulsing and tears.
"I don't want you to be sick anymore, Ry." I whispered, my voice thick from crying. Sucking in a deep breath to my oxygen-depraved lungs, i continued. "I can't lose you and i can't take care of this baby by myself. Why don't you remember me?" To be honest, i was talking to myself more than Ryan. I just couldn't hold in my thoughts any more. Letting my forehead rest against the back of his cold hand i let go all of my tears, no longer caring if anyone saw. "I love you, Ryan."
"I love you too, Snowflake." I was shocked, to say the least, when i heart him answer me especially when he called me 'Snowflake'. I thought he was sleeping. I thought he didn't remember me? I looked up with glossy blue eyes to find him looking back at me with a weak smile on his lips. He looked so frail but i knew how strong he really was.
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Awwwww... comment what you think so far!!
Also, if you didn't know already, i have a new story out called "Appetite" It's about a zombie apocalypse and it would mean so much if you read it and gave me some feed back!!!
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To The Dearly Departed (Sitkolson Fourquel)
Fanfiction(Yes, in lack of a better word, i called it the 'fourquel' don't question me) Finally, Ricky and Ryan have reached a point in their lives and relationship where everything seemed right. Ricky was pregnant, Ghost and Chris just had their hand...
