Breathless

Before

Quietness.

   It doesn't exist, well at least right now.

   Never in my life did I ever want quietness so much. I crave to be alone, which scares me. I never wanted to be alone, especially after she died.

   I was five, when I watched my mother die right before my eyes. To watch her breath slow and her eyes freeze open, is excruciating when you can't do anything. No one blamed me. Not even my dad. She was sick before. Her heart was week and she couldn't handle to much excitement. It was hard to keep calm, but I was five and was so happy and excited that she got the same feeling just from watching me. It killed her. I killed her.

     My dad was at work when we went to the meadow behind Peppermint Park. No one knew about it, but me and my family. Me and mom ate there every Sunday. That Sunday we made flower crowns and wore pretty flora dresses. We looked like princesses in my eyes.

   When I watched her die, I just couldn't believe how someone could look so peaceful. Then again I was five, but I was so smart for my age. Her dress was fanned out around her and her dark brown hair was curled around her porcelain skin. Her crown was still placed perfectly on her head. It looked like a picture, a perfect picture.

After I was found sleeping on her chest, I never wanted to be left alone. Silence killed me. My dad brought me pretty much everywhere he went. Him or his sister, my aunt Lisa.

     I'm Lola Carner, I'm 17 years old and I have brown eyes, brown hair, porcelain skin, 5'6, which makes me slim. People tell me I'm a spitting image of my mother, Sandra Carner. Since I don't like being alone my father, Nick, said he had to meet a friend at the Clove Club, so he brought me along. Big mistake.

    It was as if time came back to me and snapped me out of my thoughts. The blasting music vibrating the floor, making my clenched teeth vibrate. One minute I was following my dad and the next I completely loose sight of him and get closed in by hot, sweaty bodies, rubbing up against each other. I have anxiety, which in my case right now is not helping me.

    I feel the walls closing in. I just want my dad. I can feel tears running down my face, sweat pricking at my forehead. I feel like I'm gonna get whiplash from how fast I'm snapping my neck around the room trying to find my father.

             As if there was some how a draft, I felt a cold feeling that sent shivers up my body causing goosebumps to poke out of my skin. I could feel something staring at me causing my anxiety to spike along with my paranoia.

  I whipped my body in circles trying to find this thing, but only finding blurred figures. I'm scared, really scared. I hate to admit it but I am.

     Still looking around I see a dark flash from the corner of my eye.

  Never have I ever see eyes so vibrantly green, but presence so dark and devious. Those eyes burning through my flesh layer by layer. Fear struck me like a knife. All I wanted to do was run, but I was frozen in my spot. The bumping of bodies moved me around a little. Not once did I look alway. I could see a little twitch in the lip of the man shadowing that he's fighting back a smirk. That was until a big hand clasped onto my shoulder, making me snap out of my trance and jump around, only to face my father. I clung into him and didn't let go like I did to my mom.

   Trying to compete with the loud music and my loud sobs, he brushed my hair out of my face,

"Come on Lola lets go home".

          Nodding into his chest I looked up. Making are way out of the crowd I looked over curiously to the spot that the green-eyed man was standing, but saw nothing.

   During the car ride home I tried to calm myself with the radio. Dad said nothing only rubbing circles into my hand. The dark night whipped out of sight with each street light we passed causing me to feel calm and tired. Turning into are drive way, I unbuckled quickly, desperate to get into the house. I jumped out when my father parked and walked up to the front door. Unlocking the door, dad went in first and I followed him inside, walking up the stairs sluggishly. I couldn't help but let my mind wonder to that man in the club. He was so tall and I could see his curly hair, vibrant green eyes, sharp jaw, and tattoos climbing up his neck, not going past his jaw. He was incredibly handsome and could silence a whole room. He made fear claw at my throat. So why was I so intensely thinking about him.

  I dropped my head in my hands. All this is giving me a headache. Pulling back my sheets, slipping my shoes off I climb in bed and switch my light off. The moon light reflecting off my skin. The silence surprisingly wrapping me in its blanket, easing me into a dreamless sleep.

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New story. Hope you like it. :)