Emotional Future

The loneliness

To my lovely friend Teodora. She's gorgeous. Trust me.

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I brushed the sweat over my forehead, removing the hair that has been stuck there. I could feel the dimed fluorescent light shining over my lids. Before I opened my eyes, I was trying to keep the picture of my mother from the dream. We were standing in an orchard, and the ripe apples were hanging over our heads. The shadows from the leaves are playing on her face; she dressed in a long, wide, white dress, is teaching me to tie shoelaces, while giggling at my clumsy fingers. As soon as I open my eyes, she is already gone. Gone forever. As much as my whole family would be gone forever. I suddenly remember, when I was eight, I stopped at the door of my parents bedroom to watch them making the bed. The father was smiling to my mother, while they were pulling on the sheets, perfectly coordinated. I could sence that she was the most important person in his life. There was no selfishness or insecurity that would prevent him from realizing how good she was.

I'm pulling the pillow to my chest and breathing. It smells of detergent, something heavy, sweet, and specifically male. I'm not crying. I am just allowing it to hurt me. Sadness isn't so bad as guilt , but it takes more from you.

Before I get up from the bed, I take two round electrodes from the night table. They are connected with thin, transparent cable to the crystal Cube the size of a fist. I'm leaning them to my temples and attaching them gently. While I'm waiting, I focus on the rhythm of my breaths, imagining the air filling every piece my lungs, and then I remind myself how to exhale, all of my blood, oxidized and non oxidized, travels to my heart and out of it. I don't know how much time has passed, but while I'm biting my lower lip, I can feel my temples vibrating. They are notifying me that the process has ended, so I'm taking the electrodes off with my heavy hands.

I snap when I feel uncomfortable permeation in the back of my brain. Peripherally I can see that the color of the Cube has changed. I breathe in. I breathe out. Light blue, not bad.

I put my legs over the edge of the bed, and try to find my balance. I don't smell too good, I need a quick shower. With logy legs I roam trough the long, dark corridor, and suddenly I remember that today, at noon, there is a Giving ceremony . And in that moment a sound sensor in upper corner activates itself and I hear pleasant female voice that is informing me about important events of the day. "Today exactly at noon we are expecting you in the Dome for the Giving ceremony", pauses. "The current temperature is 21 degree" pauses again. "The time is 11:06 pm." I enter the bathroom and walk to the shower. I take my t-shirt off, and turn on the water. While with one hand I adjust the temperature on the touch screen display in front of me, with other hand I rub lemon shampoo on my head. I'm showering fast with my left hand, while the right one is hanging lifeless next to my thigh.

What is interesting is that in every bathroom in the city, there is sign witch notifies you that showering must take only five minutes, so the resources can be saved up. Of course.

After the desertification and wars, seventy percent of the land on the planet is contaminated and covered in deserts. Because the Europe was the only continent without deserts, therefore there could be no spreading of the sand. However, a part of North America and Asia, besides Europe, are the only continents which have sustained and are fighting to prevent further expansion of the deserts, planting big amounts of trees and building tick, huge, steel walls at the boarders. There are still people who stayed outside and live under the poisoned land. But how, I don't know.

After shower I go to my bedroom. A pile of clothes, that I drew out of the wardrobe last night, is waiting for me on the chair. I dry myself quickly and put on a pair of shorts, white t-shirt with a V neck and a light brown leather jacket. I grab my backpack from the table, run outside while putting on a black Lennon sunglasses.