Don't give up

chapter 11

------Saturday evening/night-------
I break down, my hands shaking uncontrollably, imagining all the worst scenarios in my head, my thoughts turning to dark places, I start to get hot, I tear off my jumper, now with the whole room is spinning, my vision starts to blur.

I feel a hand on my back, which brings me into a tight hug, after a min or two my sobs slow and turn into sniffs, I look up not surprised to see Lucys worried look, I slowly sit up, and take a couple of steady breaths, (if your wondering how Lucy got in she has a spare key)

"Jana? What's happened?"

"I'm not exactly sure" I reply holding back sobs,
"all I know is that my family is at the hospital and they're not answering their Phones I dont know what to do" I add again braking down into tears.
Lucy looks really worried, there's a moment of silence, and she eventually says
"Okay that's it I'm staying over your in no state to stay by yourself, and I need you to calm down, everything will be okay I'm sure, now let's take your mind off it"
I love Lucy she always knows what to do and doesn't care that I'm a total mess, I guess she understands me better then I understand myself.
She starts to talk about today and I just listen, as she puts on a calming voice, then I remember the texts from the boys, already taking my mind of my family.
Lucy notices
"What's that face for?"
I must've been smiling like an idiot because I was thinking about what Nate couldve said.
"The guys texted me, I still haven't seen them" I explain,
"Well what are you waiting for then?"
I reach for my phone and open the text from Drew first
'Hey Jana, I just wanted to say thanks for today, I never really thought how cool you guys could be, you know as I haven't really talked to you before. Drew'

I quickly reply with

'Haha np Drew glad you enjoyed our company, and don't worry about it Jx'

The next is from Levi which is pretty much the same

'Hey Jana, cheers for today, (Nate gave me ur number btw) should do it again sometime. Levi'

to again I reply

'Hey Levi, glad you enjoyed yourself, and I'm up for another trip 😂 Jx'

I put the emoji thinking otherwise it would sound to pushy and send it,
The next one is from Austin and lucy is slightly more then intrigued it reads

'Hey Jana, cheers for today, and showing us round town, I appreciate it you know with being new and everything, should totally do it again (think Nate might need another tour)
I'll make sure to bring him with me A'

I laugh at the last bit and type quickly with lucy looking over my shoulder

'Hey Austin, your welcome for the tour the pleasure was mine and yeah good luck with school you'll know were to find me and Lu if need be, also another tour sounds fun, I'll make sure I bring Lucy. Jx'

I quickly send it before lucy can change it, and I turn just in timetable see her face go red as I burst out laughing. Then with butterflies in my stomach I open the message from Nate

'Heyy Jana, Thanks for today I really enjoyed it, it was great hanging out with you, Lucy and the guys, I'm glad that I've met you two before school, at least I know someone and not totally knew right 😂.
Anyways text me back when you get this, (cause I like talking to you) God that sounds creepy anyway you know what I mean. Nate x'

I quickly lock the phone and jump screaming onto Lucy. She quickly snatches my phone of me and locking it was no good, as she simply enters the password and stands up to read the message from Nate.
"Dame he's totally into you! What you going to say?"
"I don't know, I don't really feel like talking to much especially with what's happening right now." I say snatching the phone off her.
I have no idea what to write I want it to sound cool and flirty but knowing me I'd screw it up, I sit down on my bed again, I sigh unlocking my phone.

"What's wrong?"
"I just don't know what to say, especially with what's happened." I say sighing again.

"Well why don't you text him back saying, saying you enjoyed today," She pauses thinking "but something came up and you can't really talk?"

"Yeah I guess, I mean I don't want to sound to lame, he's seems like a nice guy"

As soon as I said that I regreted it instantly, I knew what was coming,

"Ooooo, Jana and Nate sitting in a tree K I S S I N"
Before she can finish I chuck a pillow at her face, as I start typing a reply
'Heyy Nate, I really enjoyed today, and I'd love to talk but sadly somethings come up, I'd rather not talk about it right now, so I guess I'll talk with you soon maybe? Jana xx'
I give the phone to lucy to evaluate it, and send it as soon as she gives a slight nod.

As soon as the text sent, Lucy put on a movie and we both got ready for bed.

It was long past midnight when Lucy finally feel asleep and it's just as if my brain knew that she was asleep, the person who kept me safe was gone for a while, taking advantage of this, and turning my thoughts dark, and darker until eventually I had no control.

A/N: HELLOOOOOO I'm alive, after what seemed like forever and this chapter took so long to write! It's the longest one yet, even though it doesn't seem like a lot is happening in this chapter, the thought it required me to write it is huge.
Anyways as always
Hope you enjoyed it
I LOVE YOU ALL
~Jxxx