Emison- 5 Years Without Her

Chapter 5- Old Feelings

Alison's POV:

I don't know if I want to talk. Do I? Why did I even invite her over here? I'm 24 years old now and I feel like I'm in high school all over again.  We were both facing each other on my couch.

"Um.." I started. I didn't know what to say.

"Ali--" I cut her off.

"Emily. Do you know how much you hurt me? Emotionally and mentally? You put me through so much.." I started crying.

"Alison I know and I'm sorry--"

"Let me finish."

She just nodded her head.

"You were my first real love. I'll be honest I still haven't found love like that, or love in general since. I know I've done some fucked up things in the past but you always saw through that. And it made me feel so safe, and seen, and like I really could change. And I did. For you, for the girls. But I wouldn't have been able to do that without your love. I wanted to be worth the effort. I did all that. And I did it without knowing that that though you could see right through and see the real me, I realized I must have not been able to do the same with you. I thought I could. I thought I knew you, and your intentions, and your feelings. But it's like since that night, I never knew what was real and what wasn't. It's like I had to look at every memory differently. And I know we were in a rough patch, and a lot of that was on me. But I never stopped loving you. And I always thought that we'd get through anything, because you loved me. I never thought we'd end up like this." As I spoke emily never looked away from me. I could see her process everything I had just said. But I couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"Alison..."

"And you know what Emily? Though we didn't talk I kept my tabs. I saw the posts, the comments, the captions. Some being quickly after we broke up. It's like you never cared." Here it was. Here was the anger that I have been trying to keep down, for years now.

"What? Ali that's not true."

I looked at her baffled. "Really? How do you expect me to believe you right now? How am I supposed o believe anything you could say right now? The trust was broken years ago."

She broke down crying.

"And want to know something funny Emily? It was YOU who wanted us to be who we were. It was YOU loved me first. It was YOU that asked me out. This whole thing was started from you and YOU broke it up. You did this to us! I wanted to go to Paris with you! I wanted to move in with you. Hell I wanted to marry you." I was screaming. She looked at me when I said "marry".

Then she shot up and got infront of me.

"Well you wanted to wait! You wanted to take it slow. Remember that Alison?" She yelled back.

"That's it? That's your...Your EXCUSE? On why you did what you did? Seriously that all you got?" I yelled back

"We were constantly arguing! About the most stupid stuff! Look at us now! We're not even together and were arguing."

"That's the thing Emily. It was STUPID stuff. This isn't stupid!"

"Are you sure?" She screamed.

Emily's POV:

"Are you sure?" I screamed at her. I regretted it as soon as I said it I saw in her eyes and I broke her again.

"Ali I didn't mean that ..." I said. I went to grab her hand but she pulled away walked to her bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind her. I ran back after to her, but the door was already closed. I started banging on it. "Ali I'm sorry I didn't mean it please open up!"

Alison's POV:

She tried to grab my hand but I pulled it away. I couldn't believe what she just said. My heart broke. Again. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I was freaking out I couldn't think straight. I hear Emily banging on the door. I hear Emily yelling.

"Alison please just talk to me."  I didn't answer. And I hear Emily's voice begin to raise.

"Alison please. Please please." I couldn't breathe. I don't know why I chose a bathroom of all rooms to have a "breather" in. I just didn't know what to do. It's pathetic almost to say that I still want her. It's weak. I tuned out her calls and banging on the door to try to get a grip on everything. I couldn't give in that easily could I?

Then I thought about her eyes. And the way she looked at me at the club. When she picked me up when I was down, literally. The way her hand felt against mine. The joke we would have when I would go to kiss her, and she'd pull away right before I could to mess with me. I always liked living in the moment and not thinking about the future. But she was the only one I ever saw my future with. I'd be lying if i said I don't still see it.

I took a couple of deep breaths and went to the door, opening it and looked at the girl that I never got over.

Emily's POV:

"Ali..?" I looked at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking. We just stood there for a couple seconds in silence. Ali looked at me, with a single tear falling, but she was faintly smiling. I looked at her back. I put my hand on her cheek and wiped away her tears.

"I'm so sorry." Is all I could say. She looked at me, then at the floor, slightly nodding her head.

"I know." She said, grabbing my hand. I slowly put my hands on her waist pulling her closer. I take one of my hands of her waist, and put it on cheek wiping away more tears. Ali looked at me for a moment, glancing at my lips, and then slowly leaned in and so did I. When our lips matched sparks flew, fireworks went off, and I got butterflies. I missed her so much. She put her hands on my cheeks and I kissed her. She then gracefully put her hands on my waist, With my hands under her supporting her on me. I slowly walked over to her bed, gently putting her down, but never breaking our kiss. Our kiss got more heated, and when she asked for entrance I allowed her. Our tongues just fighting for dominance but she won, she always won. Ali then flips me over so she's on top. I slowly took off her top, she did the same for me. I felt all over her waist and breasts.

She slowly took off my pants and underwear and i did the same for her. She started grinding on me and it made me moan. Ali started to kiss my neck, then to my collarbone leaving little marks. I unhooked her bra, throwing it on the floor along with the rest of the clothes. She took mine off too, but after leaving marks on my breasts. I kissed her again. I flipped us over so now I'm on top, even though Alison hates it. I get one of my legs in between hers, and moved it so it was lightly touching her between her legs. I remembered it was always something that got her turned on before. I could tell she was already wet. I slowly went down and left her through her shorts, teasing her some more, then ripping them off completely. I looked up at Ali panting, clearly wanting me to continue. But I stopped for a moment.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I asked her, looking into her beautiful blue eyes. She nodded and grabbed my hang, holding it in hers. "Yes." She said.

I glanced down at her lips and kissed her instantly. Teasing her some more, I could hear her moaning and also growing frustrated. So I slowly entered two fingers into her.

"Em.." She moaned. I continued my save movement as a i felt her getting closer.

"Fuck!" She gasped. I felt her release and took my fingers out, then kissing her gently. She tried to then get on top of me but I stopped her.

She looked at me confused, "what's wrong?" She asked me. "I don't want anything in return. I wanted to make sure this was about you. All I need is right in front of me.. or on top of me," I said which made Ali giggle. "Can we just, lay here?" I asked. She looked at me for a moment then smiled, nodded her head, and laid next to me. And for the first time in five years, i fell asleep with Alison Dilaurentis in my arms.