Clexa AU °Safe Haven° [#Wattys2016]

Chapter 7: A spark of joy

Clarke's POV

My feet are cold from the light chilly breeze that is freezing my whole body. Why didn't you bring a fucking coat, Clarke?
The only clothes that I have on are my thin white T-shirt, black jeans and a long grey cardigan. I never thought about how long the way from our house to the Gig Café is, until now. There's literally no one else on the street, everyone is clever enough to stay at home when it gets bleak. I would too but Octavia called that she and Raven are at the Café and I should come. I had to get out because the air wasn't quite clear and I wanted to breathe a little, even though it's a little bit late for coffee.

Finally, after few more rushed steps I run into the warm room, quickly pulling the glass door behind me. As soon as I stand in embrace of the warm air, I breathe in deeply the bitter scent of coffee. It reminds me of home everytime.

"Clarke!" I hear Octavia calling from the right side, walking to me briskly. "We've been waiting for you. Is that the only thing you have?" She looks at my outfit, then in my face with a prompter in her blue-green eyes that a sarcastic question is coming. "Have you ever heard of a coat, Griffin?"

She touches my left shoulder before pulling me into a hug. I almost forget to unfold my arms, my hands are still frigid from the outside.
"Thanks O," I mumble to her hair, "I really needed a reminder of how stupid I am. I'm the one who's cold, you know."

I pull backwards, the numbness from previous freezing experience suddenly disappearing. I look around and see Raven sitting by the window, sipping tea from a large cup. I follow Octavia to the small round table with only two chairs. Fortunately, there's enough space to fit the third one in.

"Hey Griffin!" Raven says, putting the cup down. "I'd stand up but.."
"Is it getting worse?" I ask, looking at her leg covered in some weird metal brace.
"Yeah, kinda." She sighs. "I have another operation on next Sunday."
"Oh my god.." I sit down, "well, I hope it will be the last one. You've had enough."
"Thanks, Clarke." She shifts her sad face to the one that she is known for, happily showing all of her white teeth. "But stop talking about me. What about you? News?"

I look away, thinking about what to respond. I almost killed a girl. Well, not directly but I was the trigger. No, that's not it.
"She has some hot weirdo girl at home," Octavia takes the word, "Abby brought her. She's like super strange, staring at Clarke all the time and the reason she was in the hospital was that she wanted to kill herself. But she's hot. As I said, hot weirdo."
I shoot a killing stare at her. "You don't even know her."
Octavia's eyes widen. "Neither do you. And that's exactly what you told me, so."

With my shaky hands I grab the Sandwich menu and pretend to read it so I don't have to look at any of them. There's silence, my sight still sliding on the paper that seems to be blank for me. What is happening to me?
"I.. I'm sorry, I'm not feeling well today." I say, putting down the menu. I rub my eyes with the back of my hand, trying to stay awake.

"Did you get some sleep?" Raven asks worriedly.
"One hour at night, one hour before our meeting." When I think about sleep, my eyelids suddenly feel heavier.
"That's not good." Octavia whispers more to herself than to anyone else.
"May I ask why?" Raven doesn't let her eyes off me.
I yawn to my hand, little tears streaming down my cheeks. I take the chance of the moment of quiet to stretch my back, then leaning back to the table. "Lexa."

"Wait.. That's the weird girl?"
"She is not weird, Octavia," I say, "but yes, that's her. We had a huge fight last night."
I suddenly remember chills that ran through all of my body when she talked about what happened. How she started to cry but still talked, so close to my face. How she ran to the bathroom and I was too scared to go there when I heard hysteric crying. What if mom didn't come? The razor was lying on the other side of the room when she found her but that doesn't mean she wouldn't try to kill herself again.