"The ones who smile the most are most hurt."
Dear Bully ,
It all started out of nowhere. I remember only a little of how it went.
One day, around September I was on my phone when I got a message from an app called KIK from someone I didn't know. It said something childish like "You suck" nothing much. I disregarded it because I'm stronger than that and I knew it was just someone trying to make their day better by making mine worse. Since my profile picture was anonymous you didn't know how I looked like.
You didn't bother for about a week but once you came back it got worse. You insulted my family, friends and me. But I still thought I could disregard it as I did. And I had forgotten about it all. I decided not to tell anyone either because it wasn't anything that effected me in any way. Or so I thought at the time. l thought I could disregard it as I did. And I had forgotten about it all. I decided not to tell anyone either because it wasn't anything that effected me in any way. Or so I thought at the time.
By mid October everything changed. My life was actually becoming more difficult since I would always be pressured by my family to be good at everything. Grades were coming out and I didn't do very well. By that time I started to get a bunch of messages from you and you started saying things to me that were rude and could almost be counted as threats.
Sometimes I would actually think you actually meant those things and I started becoming scared. This happened for a long time yet I still kept it to myself since I didn't want anyone to worry about me.
Your comments started to finally get me.
By November I stared to feel completely worthless and I started eating less. One of my closest friends found out around December that something was wrong with me and after almost 3 months of this harassment, I finally told her because it was effecting me tremendously.
Swimming, which was my main sport at the time and I was/ still am a competitive swimmer, I started disliking and ditching classes which I paid 100 dollars for. It was a really difficult time for me. Through all this time I thought you would get bored of me and go away soon. I thought everything would be okay soon so I kept my decision to do nothing about it.
When I told my friend that all this was happening, her first reaction was to block her. Something which I had given serious thought to. I told her that it was something I didn't want to do because I knew that if I let you leave me I believed you would just go and target someone else, which I never wanted because I thought, " What if that person is going through much worse?" I could never let someone do that to someone else and thus being the reason I never blocked you.
So my friends thought I was stupid yet they didn't do so much about how devastated I was, the panic attacks started to have or anything else. Now I'm not saying my friends weren't helpful, all I'm saying is that they were not as motivating as they could have been.
At this point it was December and everything had turned so much worse. You would text me everyday and i hated it till a point I thought killing myself was an option.
I was just thinking about suicide when a few days later you never messaged me. You didn't message that day, or the one after, or any day after that. Although i was confused i couldn't express the joy my face. I felt like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and although I slightly felt like i was still worthless and didn't belong there, I was so relieved and so happy. Not in a moment or for a moment but throughout a number of days. And by January 1st, 2016 i can tell you that everything is back to normal. there was no one else texting me to kill myself, threatening my family, or anything disgusting.
YES there are days were i still feel worthless. But here is what i want to say... everyone will feel this kind of thing everyone has bad days and everyone has off days but over all, your happy and you should love your life no matter what. I don't know who you are or what your story is... but i can tell you that you WILL make it through it and you will feel so relieved that it gone. whether it is a test or a bully it will go away, and just remember that i love you no matter what.
Love,
Your victim
