SMASH! The sound of an object hitting the wall behind me, an object that should likely not be in the hands of a child, brings me back from my reverie. Finishing my last math problem I close my book, open my door, and yell at my five year old sister. Mother corrects me for my "inappropriate words" as she runs into Amber's room and tries to take the object, which happens to be Mother's hand-mirror, from Amber and stop her whining. I close my eyes and try to think of happy thoughts as I walk out the front door. Mother doesn't watch Amber closely enough to stop her from misbehaving and Amber pushes the limit on what she can do. As I climb into the school bus I look out of the school bus window and admire the beautiful snow-covered landscape. I have always loved snow as far as I can remember. Snow is beautiful, cold, and it comes with winter. Who wouldn't love it?
The day went by pretty fast and easily. School usually slips by like dreams when shaken awake. I step off the bus with a giddy feeling, the kind only someone who goes to school everyday can understand. I rush into the house ready to get on my computer, but stop when I see Amber jumping on something. Something of MINE. My keyboard.
"Amber!" I yell angrily. I snatch her up none too gently and toss her on the couch.
"Who let you touch my stuff?" Amber gives back a look that says she didn't do any wrong and is angry about me snatching her up.
"Rem, what are you doing?! “My mother asks as she comes up the stairs from doing laundry. She is always not there when my sister does something bad.
"Amber destroyed my keyboard!" I exclaimed, looking at her for a look of anger and to punish Amber.
Instead she just looks at me and laughs."Oh honey, it's not that big of a deal, I can buy you a new one, “she says as she walks over and looks Amber in the eyes and tells her not to do it. Mother turns around and walks down the hallway to put the clothes away. Amber turns back to me and giggles. I don't know what happened after that, I just snapped. I pick up Amber and look her in the eyes with the deepest look of loathing I can produce.
"DO YOU THINK IT’S FUNNY? WHY DO YOU DO THIS YOU BRAT? YOU'RE SO ANNOYING AND DON'T ACT NORMAL!" I scream at her.
She just looks back angry and ignorant, AGAIN. She never understands anything, and I'm starting to wonder if there isn’t something wrong with her upstairs.
"REM! What are you doing to Amber? Put her down RIGHT NOW!"
I put Amber down feeling guilty but at the same time too angry to feel I did much wrong.
"Mom, I-"
"Don't even try, just go to your room," She says looking at me with hate. As I walk back to my room fuming she yells "And forget getting your new keyboard anytime soon!"
I run back into the hallway. "That's not fair!" I yell. "Amber started this,"
She runs up to me and says "You have no control over Amber and her punishment, who do you think you are?"
Turning around I barely control my seething anger. Why doesn't she understand? Why is this happening again, like always?
I go into my room and lay down thinking everything through again from several perspectives and consider what the best thing to say is. I work up this speech in my mind of trying to explain it all to mother. When the time comes and she comes into my room, instead of giving her the speech I just nod and agree with what she says. There is no winning with parents, and not trying gets better results than anything, even if that isn't much.
So for the next few days I am grounded and Amber continues to be her usual ignorant-child self. I get ungrounded about a week later, although I still have no keyboard. Without my computer I look for a way to have fun. After thinking for a day or two I give up and head to the library after school. I get on the computers there, bad computers are better than no computers, and start to play around. At first it's fun, exactly what I was looking for. But after a few visits I start to get bored of it, which was pretty much impossible about two months ago when I was absorbed in computers. I start to look around to see who is coming into the library and what they are doing. Then something catches my eye. It’s a book, with a pretty red cover. They say never judge a book by its cover, but I feel that saying is very untrue most of the time. I pick up the book and skim it. It seems pretty good, and for once I feel like reading something. I walk up to the counter and check it out.
