Hetalia Oneshots

Prucan: Craigslist

Prompt: Somebody hired me off craigslist to be their fake date to their family's Christmas dinner and I normally don't get attached to anyone but holy shit their cousin is hot!

Pairing: PruCan

Just a few extra bucks on the side for Christmas shopping. That's all I wanted. Just that. Nothing else.

But I certainly got a full package.

The Craigslist ad was straightforward and something I could totally handle. Some guy needed a fake boyfriend for a family dinner because he accidentally made one up and couldn't pick somebody up in time. The guy seemed legit and the payment was good, so I called him up. We met at a nearby bar to discuss our game plan. His name was Francis Bonnefoy and the dinner was on the twenty third. That gave me enough time to get my shit ready. I wanted to get something special for Ludwig before he headed back to Germany for university. Only the best for my little brother.

But enough about him. I'm here to tell you the awesome story of that dinner.

Francis and I walked in arm in arm, me wearing the nicest suit I had, which wasn't very nice, but still. A suit.

I was greeted by Francis's parents, a French couple who cooed over me, complementing Francis's choice in men. I kept up the boyfriend act pretty well. That was, until he walked in.

"Gilbert, zhese are my cousins." Francis announced as two males made their way down the stairs. The one in front jumped in instantly, introducing himself as Alfred.

He talked so fast and so often that I didn't even get the chance to find out what the name of the other blonde was. The family sat themselves down at the kitchen table, the nameless blonde between his brother and his aunt.

"So, Gilbert, what do you do for a living?" Francis's father asked me.

"I just vork as a cashier at Valmart right now. I couldn't get a job vizh mein degree." I explained. I didn't care to mention the fact that the only reason I had such a crappy career was because I had to make time for my brother. I needed something with flexible hours. After Luddy was gone, I would think about my own life for a while.

"What do you 'ave a degree in?"

The conversations continued. Simple questions like what my family was like, where I was from, and what my plans for the future were. Dinner arrived and the others managed to keep quiet long enough to eat.

I kept my eye on the nameless cousin the entire time. I wanted to find a way to mention him, but I just felt so off about it. I had never really taken such an interest to anybody in this way. Why him? I didn't even know his name.

"Um...I have to go to the bathroom." He stood up, face pale. I don't think I saw him take a single bite of his food since he sat down. He had been swirling it around on the plate with his fork, making a giant mess.

"Go a'ead." Francis's mother waved him off. The male nodded and teetered away. He looked kind of sick, but nobody else seemed to notice.

About half an hour had passed and I didn't even see a hair of that kid. I started to worry, but the others didn't even mention his absence.

Five minutes into our first game of charades and I had finally decided to check things out.

"I have to use zhe awesome bazhroom. Vhere is it?" I declared.

"Down zhe 'all to zhe left." Francis directed as if he had done this a thousand times. His family seemed like the kind to have guests over constantly so he most likely had.

"Danke!" I chirped before bounding out of the room to the hallway.

I heard the blonde before I saw him. It was only the smallest of sighs, but it was audible to me. I followed the sound to a balcony on the other side of a guest room where he was most likely staying.

"Hallo?"

He didn't hear me, or maybe he did but was ignoring me. I couldn't quite tell.

"I didn't catch jour name." I swooped in to stand next to the taller male.

He took a slow breath before answering. "Matthew."

"Mazhew?"

"Matthew." He repeated with a nod. His violet eyes never left the spacious backyard.

"So...Mazhew...does jour family normally ignore jou like zhat?"

"Only when there's somebody louder at the table." Matthew's gaze moved to the railing of the balcony where his fingernails parted the paint from the wood.

"Mattie...Can I tell jou somezing...?" My hand glided along the railing until it met the blonde's. Matthew swallowed subtly, not looking away from the interaction. "I'm only here because jour cousin hired me to be his date."

"Why are you telling me this?" Matthew asked, eyebrows pressed as close together as they could get.

"Because I don't vant jou to freak out vhen I do zhis." Before the other could react, I leaned forward and planted a firm kiss on Matthew's lips. The blonde squeaked in surprise, his untouched hand reaching upward, about to push me away. But there was a hesitation to the movement. The Canuk ended up curling it into a fist around my shirt and pulling me closer.

I weaved my fingers through his. They settled together so perfectly.

"So..." Matthew awkwardly muttered when we parted. "Do you wanna skip the charades and watch a movie instead?"

I smiled as brightly as I ever had and nodded.

It's been twelve years since that night when Francis wandered upstairs looking for his fake date only to find me curled up on the floor next to his sleeping cousin. He wasn't mad or anything. He simply smiled and winked my way.

Mattie and I are still together, except we're married now. I never would have thought that a few extra bucks for shopping would get me all this, but it was worth every moment.

I would never regret logging into craigslist that day.

KPg:_